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<blockquote data-quote="Ironbutterfly" data-source="post: 694369" data-attributes="member: 19951"><p>Leafy- I think your husband yes, would want reconciliation if possible with Rain. But I also think he was extremely loyal to you above all else over Rain. He knows Rain caused heartache and pain for you. He would want you to take care of you first and foremost.</p><p></p><p>I think the idea of the basket from Copa would be an ice breaker. I don't think I would share any feelings or emotions like with a card "Love you". Keep emotions at bay. The gift basket speaks volumes. If you sent a card that said I love you, etc, feel it would back fire with her saying something like Oh yeah right, if she loved me blah blah blah. The basket is an expression of kindness. We love our children but sometimes we don't like them. I also agree if you met her in person, avoid any suggestions of what she should do. It's her life, her choices. </p><p></p><p>I had to reopen the door with relationship with Difficult Child after not talking, seeing him for about 6 months, it was scary, but I went slow and didn't let my heart open up too much. Do only what you feel you can do. You are still grieving the loss of your husband; so many emotions with just that and you don't need to reopen yourself to Rain when she is not at the point in her life that she wants to change her life.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Ironbutterfly, post: 694369, member: 19951"] Leafy- I think your husband yes, would want reconciliation if possible with Rain. But I also think he was extremely loyal to you above all else over Rain. He knows Rain caused heartache and pain for you. He would want you to take care of you first and foremost. I think the idea of the basket from Copa would be an ice breaker. I don't think I would share any feelings or emotions like with a card "Love you". Keep emotions at bay. The gift basket speaks volumes. If you sent a card that said I love you, etc, feel it would back fire with her saying something like Oh yeah right, if she loved me blah blah blah. The basket is an expression of kindness. We love our children but sometimes we don't like them. I also agree if you met her in person, avoid any suggestions of what she should do. It's her life, her choices. I had to reopen the door with relationship with Difficult Child after not talking, seeing him for about 6 months, it was scary, but I went slow and didn't let my heart open up too much. Do only what you feel you can do. You are still grieving the loss of your husband; so many emotions with just that and you don't need to reopen yourself to Rain when she is not at the point in her life that she wants to change her life. [/QUOTE]
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