There isn't anything I could have said or done. My kids saw some of their dads family members ravaged by drugs.
I had the talks, but ultimately it was up to the kids to figure out who they wished to hang around with in high school, what their life goals were.
Not blaming others, but friends and peers do have a lot of influence on these kids. Pot now is scary. I do believe there is other stuff mixed in, or it is stronger..... It is definitely a gateway drug.
My two traveled, played sports, had some great life experiences as young kids. Wrong turn here and there, boom.
Sequestering might have worked...haha...but we can't keep our kids away from the world, eventually they will be faced with those choices.
My youngest is 14 and loves to skateboard. I let him go hang out with his friends. There is always this fear.....but I do talk with him a lot about making good choices and staying away from drugs. He is in the high school band and plays sports. I had an aversion to video games from the get go, probably from my days when it was " go outside and play."
He does like to watch tv, which I need to curb.
I guess what I want to say is, my two in their using state will blame anything and anybody (mainly me) for this choice. It keeps them obliviously doing what they do, eyes on everyone else, they don't judge themselves, or see a need to change because it is "not their fault"....
Would I change certain things that happened along the way of raising them? Sure would. It is this parenting thing in difficult circumstances, times, the question is, what makes one child thrive and one not?
It really has to do with them as much as us.......
I think communication is important, and being alert to personality changes and watching who they are hanging out with. Okay I am going beyond the question.
Maybe it is as simple as "Stay away from drugs and people who use them."
Say it and say it a lot. They hear it in school....
Pigless, stop being mean to yourself about the gaming thing. We can only do so much. The key is you are working at remedies for it now. Good job.
I think Detaching is on to something with the guitar playing. I am self taught, haven't played in a while....too darn busy. But, there are tons of easy music books, beginner guitars are pretty affordable.....If Ferb would be interested....
I think it really would have worked out well if we were stranded on our own island like
"Swiss Family Robinson"
Okay, so not realistic, but one can dream and imagine, they had a cool treehouse, who would need to use drugs with an awesome treehouse like that?......Hey Pigless, your farm will sort of be like that.
Ferb is 17, so he has probably seen a lot in high school already. I ask Son about it. He says there are lots of kids using in school. He stays away from them.
YAY
(for now).
Fingers, toes everything crossable crossed and lots and lots of prayers for these kids. Life is hard out there. Son is noticing all of the "popular" kids, and talking about the social structure he sees in school. The kids are faced with so much in this stage of their lives. I think it is important to keep those lines of communication open and be able to discuss stuff without being overbearing and rigid.
In my case for Son, having two older sisters go off the rails has been a constant reminder of what the ramifications of drug use and addiction hold for ones future.
Although I wish it wasn't the case, this is a blaring in our face reality and lesson.........hopefully it will prevent him from ever dabbling, but only time will tell.
(((HUGS)))
leafy