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What does it take to do nothing?
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<blockquote data-quote="recoveringenabler" data-source="post: 651952" data-attributes="member: 13542"><p>Wonderful, inspiring, poignant and oh so true post COM, thank you for sharing your journey so eloquently. </p><p></p><p>My word was presence. I am still practicing it daily. For me it means staying grounded in the now, not racing down that road to meet what is next or to languish in the past, but to be here now, right here.........</p><p></p><p>It sounds so simple, <em>be here now</em>, almost ridiculous in it's simplify, however I have found it a challenge. Like you COM, I was bred to be a doer as the oldest in a highly dysfunctional family, fixing, helping, accomplishing, succeeding..... there are so many accolades for that role.......part of that role, for me, was making sure the future was as smooth and as crisis free as I could make it, lists, figuring it out, being prepared, always making sure everything was taken care of.....fear that if I missed something, there would be dire consequences......worry.......lots and lots of worry.</p><p></p><p>Well, if I am not future tripping, or visiting the past, I am living in the now........present. It's a training for my mind, pulling myself back from the edge, from the relentless thinking about what could happen, what might happen, what will happen and what I need to do right now to prepare for that. </p><p></p><p>I don't have to do anything. Nothing. Just show up in the moment.</p><p></p><p>Doing nothing has not come easy for me, it has been a tough experience and like all of you, it has been a journey worth taking........ and brought to me by... first my bio family... and then my daughter.</p><p></p><p>The odd and yet just awesome realization is that in doing nothing, everything gets done! Not in a frantic, stressful, have to do it now, worried fashion, but a thought in the moment, "oh yeah,today is the day I do that." For me, doing nothing has everything to do with me living in the present moment. I slip a lot, I fall out of the present into the past and into the future. My mind runs away with me with crazy controlling thoughts.........but now I know, 1. that I am on that train and 2. how to get off. Knowing I am on it, is most of the battle, then I just quietly and quickly step right on off. </p><p></p><p>That is a miracle. To be able to observe myself tripping out, say to myself, "hey, cut it out," and stop it. Once I could do that, doing nothing and staying in the present moment became a place I could inhabit a lot more. In fact, most of the time. It brings a sort of melancholy just saying that because I remember so vividly how miserable I was when I was <em><strong>everywhere</strong></em> but in the now and doing <em><strong>everything.</strong></em>.......it's an odd irony that to be in the now and do nothing is what brings peace of mind as opposed to what I believed and lived.........do, do, do, do and do some more and that will bring peace-------<strong><em>someday. </em></strong><em><strong>Only someday, never, ever comes.</strong></em></p><p><em><strong></strong></em></p><p>This has changed every single facet of my life. Certainly with my daughter and my family, but in my career, with my friends, with how I view the world and how I spend my moments. There's an inner core of space, space where not only does "nothingness" live, but possibility as well. In that space is presence. </p><p></p><p>So it turns out that uncertainty........not knowing........letting go.........doing nothing.......is really what it's all about, not fear, not control, not doing and knowing........well, who would have thought that? </p><p></p><p>Not me.</p><p></p><p>And, yet, I am intensely grateful to have traveled through this maze and lived to tell the tale.........and to have shared that journey with all of you. What a privilege.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="recoveringenabler, post: 651952, member: 13542"] Wonderful, inspiring, poignant and oh so true post COM, thank you for sharing your journey so eloquently. My word was presence. I am still practicing it daily. For me it means staying grounded in the now, not racing down that road to meet what is next or to languish in the past, but to be here now, right here......... It sounds so simple, [I]be here now[/I], almost ridiculous in it's simplify, however I have found it a challenge. Like you COM, I was bred to be a doer as the oldest in a highly dysfunctional family, fixing, helping, accomplishing, succeeding..... there are so many accolades for that role.......part of that role, for me, was making sure the future was as smooth and as crisis free as I could make it, lists, figuring it out, being prepared, always making sure everything was taken care of.....fear that if I missed something, there would be dire consequences......worry.......lots and lots of worry. Well, if I am not future tripping, or visiting the past, I am living in the now........present. It's a training for my mind, pulling myself back from the edge, from the relentless thinking about what could happen, what might happen, what will happen and what I need to do right now to prepare for that. I don't have to do anything. Nothing. Just show up in the moment. Doing nothing has not come easy for me, it has been a tough experience and like all of you, it has been a journey worth taking........ and brought to me by... first my bio family... and then my daughter. The odd and yet just awesome realization is that in doing nothing, everything gets done! Not in a frantic, stressful, have to do it now, worried fashion, but a thought in the moment, "oh yeah,today is the day I do that." For me, doing nothing has everything to do with me living in the present moment. I slip a lot, I fall out of the present into the past and into the future. My mind runs away with me with crazy controlling thoughts.........but now I know, 1. that I am on that train and 2. how to get off. Knowing I am on it, is most of the battle, then I just quietly and quickly step right on off. That is a miracle. To be able to observe myself tripping out, say to myself, "hey, cut it out," and stop it. Once I could do that, doing nothing and staying in the present moment became a place I could inhabit a lot more. In fact, most of the time. It brings a sort of melancholy just saying that because I remember so vividly how miserable I was when I was [I][B]everywhere[/B][/I] but in the now and doing [I][B]everything.[/B][/I].......it's an odd irony that to be in the now and do nothing is what brings peace of mind as opposed to what I believed and lived.........do, do, do, do and do some more and that will bring peace-------[B][I]someday. [/I][/B][I][B]Only someday, never, ever comes. [/B][/I] This has changed every single facet of my life. Certainly with my daughter and my family, but in my career, with my friends, with how I view the world and how I spend my moments. There's an inner core of space, space where not only does "nothingness" live, but possibility as well. In that space is presence. So it turns out that uncertainty........not knowing........letting go.........doing nothing.......is really what it's all about, not fear, not control, not doing and knowing........well, who would have thought that? Not me. And, yet, I am intensely grateful to have traveled through this maze and lived to tell the tale.........and to have shared that journey with all of you. What a privilege. [/QUOTE]
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