Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What does it take to do nothing?
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Lil" data-source="post: 652080" data-attributes="member: 17309"><p>This is a thought-provoking thread. I have such a hard time, doing nothing. I am trying. I haven't actually heard from my son since his court date last week and have not contacted him until today. We have to have him file an amended tax return (costing us several hundred dollars, but netting us a few thousand because he filed first, not saying we could claim him as a dependent). So today Jabber will be taking it by. Of course, I had to ask if things were going okay. Because - reflex. He said, "yes and no". In the past I would have said, "What's wrong?" because I have to "do something". Today I said, "Well, I guess that's good and bad. I love you. I'll have Dad call." </p><p> </p><p>That was hard. That was really hard. Every mother's instinct I have wants to know what's wrong.</p><p> </p><p>I miss him. I miss what we could have had. Jabber and I go out to dinner and I see a family with teenagers and I stare, wondering why that isn't us. I see TV shows or hear songs that drive home that teenagers are so immature and erratic...and I have to keep telling myself that what he has done is far beyond "normal" teenage stuff. It is SO HARD to not try to fix this. </p><p> </p><p>It is so hard to do nothing.</p><p> </p><p>I had a talk with a "lifestyle coach" from my insurance carrier yesterday. She asked about diet, smoking, exercise...and stress. I explained a bit about why my stress has been an 11 on a scale of 1-10. She asked if it was constant and I explained it this way: "Some days it's off the chart. But we'll do days without hearing from him...and that's better...but it's never gone, it's always there, in the background, a constant low-level hum that never really goes away." </p><p> </p><p>I have tinnitus. I constantly have a ringing in my ears and there is a lot of time I don't notice it much...but it's there. Some of the time I notice it quite a bit, but I manage it. Sometimes I wish I could just rip my ear canals out of my head to get away from the noise that seems like it's going to slowly drive me insane! </p><p> </p><p>I've just realized, my son is my emotional tinnitus. </p><p> </p><p>I need a word. There are so many I should work toward. </p><p> </p><p>Peace.</p><p>Acceptance.</p><p>Tranquility.</p><p> </p><p>I think, maybe, the best is Liberation. </p><p> </p><p>Liberating my son from me. Liberating myself...from so many things. From the need to "fix" my son. From the clutter and mess of my home. From the extra pounds that weigh my body down. From the worry and the sadness and disappointment that weighs my soul down. </p><p> </p><p>I need to work toward liberation.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Lil, post: 652080, member: 17309"] This is a thought-provoking thread. I have such a hard time, doing nothing. I am trying. I haven't actually heard from my son since his court date last week and have not contacted him until today. We have to have him file an amended tax return (costing us several hundred dollars, but netting us a few thousand because he filed first, not saying we could claim him as a dependent). So today Jabber will be taking it by. Of course, I had to ask if things were going okay. Because - reflex. He said, "yes and no". In the past I would have said, "What's wrong?" because I have to "do something". Today I said, "Well, I guess that's good and bad. I love you. I'll have Dad call." That was hard. That was really hard. Every mother's instinct I have wants to know what's wrong. I miss him. I miss what we could have had. Jabber and I go out to dinner and I see a family with teenagers and I stare, wondering why that isn't us. I see TV shows or hear songs that drive home that teenagers are so immature and erratic...and I have to keep telling myself that what he has done is far beyond "normal" teenage stuff. It is SO HARD to not try to fix this. It is so hard to do nothing. I had a talk with a "lifestyle coach" from my insurance carrier yesterday. She asked about diet, smoking, exercise...and stress. I explained a bit about why my stress has been an 11 on a scale of 1-10. She asked if it was constant and I explained it this way: "Some days it's off the chart. But we'll do days without hearing from him...and that's better...but it's never gone, it's always there, in the background, a constant low-level hum that never really goes away." I have tinnitus. I constantly have a ringing in my ears and there is a lot of time I don't notice it much...but it's there. Some of the time I notice it quite a bit, but I manage it. Sometimes I wish I could just rip my ear canals out of my head to get away from the noise that seems like it's going to slowly drive me insane! I've just realized, my son is my emotional tinnitus. I need a word. There are so many I should work toward. Peace. Acceptance. Tranquility. I think, maybe, the best is Liberation. Liberating my son from me. Liberating myself...from so many things. From the need to "fix" my son. From the clutter and mess of my home. From the extra pounds that weigh my body down. From the worry and the sadness and disappointment that weighs my soul down. I need to work toward liberation. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
Parent Emeritus
What does it take to do nothing?
Top