<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: Daisylover</div><div class="ubbcode-body"> <div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Quote:</div><div class="ubbcode-body">It is difficult to give up a dream. But, we must move on. And find ways to enjoy life. </div></div>
Very well put. </div></div>
I agree, very well put.
I was already separated, divorced, moved out of state and married to my H by the time my difficult child's TRUE difficult child-ness exploded in our faces. We were trying to get pregnant at that time. It didn't happen and as difficult child's behaviors gradually got worse, I changed my mind, H was equally relieved not to have an addition to our family and RAN to get a vasectomy! At times we, especially now with the house empty, we sometimes think it would have been nice, especially to have a boy, but overall, I think we're both pleased that we didn't have anymore children.
I envisioned my daughters being best friends growing up. I realized they would have thier moments, but I always imagined they'd lean on eachother or be in cahoots with one another when trying to dupe H and me by covering for one another! I imagined them getting ready for proms and double dates and hanging in a similar crowd together, sharing clothes and fighting over whose sweater it was. I imagined them wanting to sleep with each other once in a while and consoling one another when one's heart had been broken. I imagined lots of those sisterly moments growing up in their teens. But none of that came to pass.
Instead they each tried to become the polar opposite of the other. They didn't band together when things were going wrong, they grew apart. difficult child resented easy child for her seemingly perfect personality (refusing to see that easy child could be a real pita at times) and easy child resented the tension and craziness that difficult child brought to our home. easy child speaks to difficult child as would a surrogate mother or close aunt, not as a sister, and I know that hurts difficult child now, as a mini adult. I've tried to talk with easy child and help her be a sister first but it's so ingrained in her to mother her sister. I often saw hate between them and that always made me sad, I felt almost a mourning for the relationship that was lost. When they were little, before difficult child's rage attacks, they were bosom buddies - always together, telling secrets and entertaining each other. easy child could make difficult child laugh within seconds of her crying. Thinking of this makes me sad right now. I hope one day they can find each other again and be closer. They are all they will have one day in the way of immediate family and I hope that none of this is irreparable.