K
Kjs
Guest
If you follow my story at all, husband's father was an alcoholic, beat the kids. his mother left when he was three. Doesn't have memory of her. His father remarried two years later. He loved his step mother. He says such wonderful things about the short time he was with her. She too lived in the abuse. They had two little girls, husband's half sisters. The girls were only 1 and 3(I think) when his step mom left with the girls. husband said he never saw them again. His father died in a car accident after that and husband lived with a friend.
I knew his half sisters name. I found her on facebook. I debated whether to tell her about the death or not. I did. I decided what she wanted to do would be up to her. I just informed her.
OMG...we have been talking ever since. Her mother is alive and well. She said her mother divorced but stayed in the house for an entire year hoping their father would leave. Step mom didn't want to leave husband. (husband often said he didn't understand why she left him there. He wanted to go with her) That was 50 years ago. She was only step mom. She couldn't take him. Half sister said they lived with her mothers parents. A lot to that story. Anyway. I told her about husband and his brother (her brothers) asked about her sister and mom(who husband adores) She told me today she was planning on going to Canada for the funeral, but ran into a brick wall with the passport thing. husband hasn't seen her in 50 years. He thought they blamed him for his fathers actions. He always wondered and hoped they were ok and happy. I don't know how husband would of dealt with that. He never talks about growing up and the abuse. I learned all that from his brother. The sisters I learned about from an uncle who has since passed away. It is like husband shut the doors on his life back then and never looked back. Like that time never existed.
Anyway, sister told me they sent flowers. Said she wants to stay in touch. husband is not a computer guy. Can't click a mouse....There is so much family information I found out this past week it is amazing. I am afraid to lay it all on husband though. He never opened up about his life from back then. How do I tell him his step mom has thought of him? vice versa. How do I tell him his sisters want to get in touch. Wanted to be at the funeral? It's been 50 years...is that too long to re-connect? He has two nephews. irrantically almost identical names as our boys. Almost the same age too. 1 year difference in youngest, 6 yrs in oldest.
Since husband has not opened up about his past, all I ever had to go on was what his brother told me. And he was very bitter. Maybe I assumed too much. Wow. what a week.
I knew his half sisters name. I found her on facebook. I debated whether to tell her about the death or not. I did. I decided what she wanted to do would be up to her. I just informed her.
OMG...we have been talking ever since. Her mother is alive and well. She said her mother divorced but stayed in the house for an entire year hoping their father would leave. Step mom didn't want to leave husband. (husband often said he didn't understand why she left him there. He wanted to go with her) That was 50 years ago. She was only step mom. She couldn't take him. Half sister said they lived with her mothers parents. A lot to that story. Anyway. I told her about husband and his brother (her brothers) asked about her sister and mom(who husband adores) She told me today she was planning on going to Canada for the funeral, but ran into a brick wall with the passport thing. husband hasn't seen her in 50 years. He thought they blamed him for his fathers actions. He always wondered and hoped they were ok and happy. I don't know how husband would of dealt with that. He never talks about growing up and the abuse. I learned all that from his brother. The sisters I learned about from an uncle who has since passed away. It is like husband shut the doors on his life back then and never looked back. Like that time never existed.
Anyway, sister told me they sent flowers. Said she wants to stay in touch. husband is not a computer guy. Can't click a mouse....There is so much family information I found out this past week it is amazing. I am afraid to lay it all on husband though. He never opened up about his life from back then. How do I tell him his step mom has thought of him? vice versa. How do I tell him his sisters want to get in touch. Wanted to be at the funeral? It's been 50 years...is that too long to re-connect? He has two nephews. irrantically almost identical names as our boys. Almost the same age too. 1 year difference in youngest, 6 yrs in oldest.
Since husband has not opened up about his past, all I ever had to go on was what his brother told me. And he was very bitter. Maybe I assumed too much. Wow. what a week.
