Isn't it a shame that we either have to be untrue to ourselves to be accorded the honor of communicating these abusive and self destructive adult children of all ages? Son was calling me up to three times a day to get "support" from me about his legal case that he is going to win. This is a short version of how a conversation usually went vs how I have been handling it now. I don't want to lose my son, but since I dont fool myself either into thinking this relationship is a normal relationship. The old way: Son: (being a typical male drama queen) I gave up my entire 30s, nervous and on edge, to be in court for Grandson. Now our judge was voted out and will the b@#%& be granted another continuance? I cant take it. I always feel sick, like im gettibg ulcers. I wish Lawyer would call and at least tell me what happens now.," My oldish way: "I don't care who the judge is. Your case is rock solid." I don't know this but he likes feel good responses from me and often hangs up if I say the wrong thing, usually the truth which is,"I really don't know." I thought of "the grey rock" and when he's been trying to engage me now I am too tired of this baby show to play the game. I've been saying,'I really don't know" or just listening, even after he says,"so you with-o t help?" I can't help. Every sentence I say is unacceptable so I said I'll let you get it out but I have no words of wisdom.' I no longer tell him that he has to get help or stop obsessing about this every day. That he is needlessly letting this ruin his life. He sees no responsibility in his dilemma, no way for himself to stop torturing himself. Any suggestions are metbeith abuse. The calls have dropped to maybe one short call every three days. I suspect, as I keep this up, it will be less and less. I am relieved. He needs to figure this out himself. Never once do I hear,"so how are you doing,mom?" He is a very negative force in life and I'm trying hard to put that behind me. I love him. I will always love him. But he is the only negative in life now. From now on, he wants to talk to me? No hanging up and more silly cheerleading. I have let at least half his calls go unanswered. I JUST WANT PEACE!!! Thanks for letting me vent. My interactions with him are so different than those of my other adult children. I no longer care if he calls me. Sad for all of us who feel this way.