What is a lie?

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
hat is a really important question, when you think about it. Because the essence of what happens in abuse, in the betrayal of trust all abuse essentially is, is that one person is lying about who the other person is and they know it and they knew it all along.
Yes, you're right.

And it is also VERY common, if not the rule, that others who live in the house deny there was abuse. Like David Pelzer's oldest sibling who took on the husband role to his sick mother.

David Pelzer was taken into custody at age twelve, weighing nothing, his bones sticking out because he was starved. Yet his siblings (two) deny it was "that bad" because they were allowed to eat and were called by their names a nd not called "it" and did not feel the pain David and later Richard felt.

If I had not been in my family, I just know the abuse would have been heaped on sis. It is just how it is in badly dysfunctional families. Somebody has to be the scapegoat. And everyone in the family usually looks the other way or gets in on the action.

Cedar, we are stereotypes.
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
But I continued to see him after that because I believed he must know what was the matter with me that had affected my child. Because after all, he was a therapist and I had never been to one before so I didn't know the difference between therapist and holistic physician and I had to know. After all, he was the therapist. Who later turned out to be only a holistic physician, but I didn't know the difference back then. So, and this still surprises me today? Maybe, he was wrong.
Cedar...therapists are wrong all the time. Psychiatry is subjective rather than smack dab scientific. We get opinions from them as they try to follow guidelines in a DSM that is updated every few years and is outdated almost as quickly as it is printed. And ten doctors can all have a different opinion. That's all it is...an opinion.

The only reason I am 100% positive I have a mood disorder is because I suffered through the moods so that was a no-brainer for me. I also had panic attacks so, yes, I believe the panic disorder diagnosis. And geenrealized anxiety disorder...yes. Although I've worked very hard to live a low stress life to minimize the anxiety disorder.

Therapists can not tell us why our FOO, kids, or pets act like they do with any real knowledge. They are guessing and a lot of their information comes from us so they are guessing about people they have never met. I love therapists, they have saved my life along with Paxil, however, I realize their limitations.

Do we need to know why?

Does ANYONE know why?

Why, why, why...and the renters in our head throw a party that is so noisy it blocks out our own reality and life. We should be enjoying the present, not listening to a party thrown by the WHY question and it's participants. We will never know why.

"The past is history,
The future is a mystery,
Today is a gift which is why it's called the present."

Some lady in my group therapy told me that and I thought it was cute. And true.
 

Scent of Cedar *

Well-Known Member
I have decided to stop lying to myself that I disconnected emotionaly from Thing 2 while I still check her site to see if she's been here.

Checking to learn whether someone who wants us destroyed has been to our sanctuary is not lying to ourselves SWOT. It's mandatory that we believe in and protect ourselves, now. We were hurt in the first place because we did not have safe sanctuary. Whether your sister knows it or whether the real reason she stalks you is well hidden away ~ that is why she is stalking you here. Because it is working for you. How can you possibly take the risks that baring the broken parts entails ~ when you are not sure yourself what happened, when every confrontation with it brings those same horrible feelings of "What kind of person thinks like this about their own family." And when there may certainly be a predator out there who has fed on you, has used what she learned here to hurt you, before?

I don't know what I would do if I were in your situation. You are making yourself defiantly vulnerable in your determination to heal and she slinks in without having even the decency to let any of the rest of us know who she is or that she is here, preying on us, on our pain and confusion and hurt, too.

Well, read on, sister.

SWOT doesn't have to post a thing here. She can benefit simply by knowing we believe in her ~ and we do. And you can just go right being who you are. some anonymous stalker, stalking away. Like some ghoul, like some thing that preys on children in the night and slinks away, leaving a trail of innocent blood.

Just another predator, looking for some brokenness you had neither the courage nor the brain power to hold in compassion and heal. No. You dove into the wounds someone else had made like a freaking hyena, laughing and laughing.

You have no weapon but that stupid, hyena laughter.

Ahem.

I admire your true grit, SWOT.

I would never have been able to question myself, to risk looking so foolish and lost and ridiculous, had I been made aware that my FOO was stalking, looking for the freshly bloodied, vulnerable places so they could laugh their hyena laughing and hurt me again.

To the sister: I fart in your general direction.

Cedar
 

BusynMember

Well-Known Member
Thanks, cedar. U r a blessing in my life. I value u so much. I also need to add I am on my tablet so if a strange phrase pops up it is likely that the tablet changed my words. I'll has a mind of its own.

Cedar. U still see your mom and sister. If I saw her...if she was in my life at all...maybe it would make me hesitate. Cedar, she will never be in my life again. This time she blew it. The door is no longer open for her to pop in when she feels she has punished enough. By denying I was abused she became a stranger to me. What can she do with this? I don't do facebook anymore. My family and closest friend would not listen to her...They hate her. Truly. She is the one who cares what people think. Who can she tell? My brother? I won't see him either.

Cedar, I will see them one more time ever. I won't talk to them and will be surrounded by my family.They are not people I trust if they did not see her abuse. F u to both:)

When I check her site and read her venom it just makes me angry and pained. Why do that to myself? Yes, it is spooky she comes here but that says more about her than me.

I don't want to read what she says about me or her abusive boyfriend.

Remember this. What u think about me is none of my business. Remember that. By leaving for the last time, she gave up any ability to control me. If I love u and u are kind to a sensitive soul like me I will do anything for u. If u are unkind I owe u nothing.

I hope u understand.
 
Last edited:
Top