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What is a lie?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 658477" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>It is strange that our sisters seem so much alike. I am posting about some things that seemed strange on the other thread. When I actually write them out, one after the other it sounds like I must be making it up. Or taking innocent things out of context.</p><p></p><p>Until I begin listing them, and begin not telling about the other things that seemed stranger than ~ like, I must have ~ it's that same feeling I always have with my sister. That she is doing the right things, but it seems like she isn't.</p><p></p><p>It feels like a conspiracy theory. I don't get the win. (How many times have I posted that phrase regarding my FOO.) Because I so don't get the win, I discount the weird of it. But taken together, written down here for us...man, something way terrible is happening that has nothing to do with accidental inappropriateness and the seems, more and more, to have everything to do with determined intent.</p><p></p><p>But why?</p><p></p><p>What intent?</p><p></p><p>What could the reason be, for her to do what she does.</p><p></p><p>So, it seems that I must not be thinking rightly or kindly. I wonder at my suspicion. It is the forever question: What kind of person thinks like this about her own sister?</p><p></p><p>Well, looks like I do.</p><p></p><p>And it's beginning to look like I have been foolish not to have taken these things seriously, sooner. I am a permissive, forgiving, excusing sister. I have that dinner thing going on where, come hell or high water, we are all going to have that family I have been trying to get around to having forever, it seems.</p><p></p><p>I have that FOG thing going on a little bit, here.</p><p></p><p>Surely these things cannot be what it looks and feels like.</p><p></p><p>Like I always say, I can go back later and see her with compassion. For right now, I am having a look at things here, in this anonymous place.</p><p></p><p>I am not comfortable with how I am looking at her. But when you add everything up, all the things I have posted about...it's like it was when I was first posting about (or talking about) what went on in my family of origin.</p><p></p><p>That disbelief, that wondering what in the world I am thinking, and how is anyone ever going to get better if this is how I look at things.</p><p></p><p>I am going to keep looking in this way I am looking now. We can go back with compassion, later.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 658477, member: 17461"] It is strange that our sisters seem so much alike. I am posting about some things that seemed strange on the other thread. When I actually write them out, one after the other it sounds like I must be making it up. Or taking innocent things out of context. Until I begin listing them, and begin not telling about the other things that seemed stranger than ~ like, I must have ~ it's that same feeling I always have with my sister. That she is doing the right things, but it seems like she isn't. It feels like a conspiracy theory. I don't get the win. (How many times have I posted that phrase regarding my FOO.) Because I so don't get the win, I discount the weird of it. But taken together, written down here for us...man, something way terrible is happening that has nothing to do with accidental inappropriateness and the seems, more and more, to have everything to do with determined intent. But why? What intent? What could the reason be, for her to do what she does. So, it seems that I must not be thinking rightly or kindly. I wonder at my suspicion. It is the forever question: What kind of person thinks like this about her own sister? Well, looks like I do. And it's beginning to look like I have been foolish not to have taken these things seriously, sooner. I am a permissive, forgiving, excusing sister. I have that dinner thing going on where, come hell or high water, we are all going to have that family I have been trying to get around to having forever, it seems. I have that FOG thing going on a little bit, here. Surely these things cannot be what it looks and feels like. Like I always say, I can go back later and see her with compassion. For right now, I am having a look at things here, in this anonymous place. I am not comfortable with how I am looking at her. But when you add everything up, all the things I have posted about...it's like it was when I was first posting about (or talking about) what went on in my family of origin. That disbelief, that wondering what in the world I am thinking, and how is anyone ever going to get better if this is how I look at things. I am going to keep looking in this way I am looking now. We can go back with compassion, later. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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