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The Watercooler
What is forgiveness? What does it really mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="2much2recover" data-source="post: 640825" data-attributes="member: 18366"><p>For myself I think there is a huge difference between forgiving and <em>forgetting. </em>I do believe that we forgive for ourselves, to be able to allow ourselves to move forward. For a difficult child, because they are in some way either personality disordered or mentally ill, we forgive because we would not deny them that which we would give to any other person with an illness. However, also again because of the nature of the illness the difficult child has - I feel we must never forget what they are capable of and have a responsibility to ourselves not to forget what they are capable of. Also in certain situations it is perfectly OK to forgive them without needing to vocalize it to them as they can't hear it anyway. Forgiving but no forgetting can lead us to a more peaceful life in my opinion. Sometimes that peace will only last for days and weeks depending on how much we choose to interact with the difficult child - or it can last for years if we choose not to interact with them, which by the way, we are perfectly within our own rights to feel safe and secure by not interacting with them if that is <em>OUR </em>choice. Also I think once you have identified someone as a difficult child - then it becomes up to you to lay down the boundaries of what you will and won't except. If/when they cross those boundaries is is perfectly acceptable to go low/no contact for however long you the victim in all this, feels comfortable doing so. </p><p>Forgive? Yes. Forget? NEVER!</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="2much2recover, post: 640825, member: 18366"] For myself I think there is a huge difference between forgiving and [I]forgetting. [/I]I do believe that we forgive for ourselves, to be able to allow ourselves to move forward. For a difficult child, because they are in some way either personality disordered or mentally ill, we forgive because we would not deny them that which we would give to any other person with an illness. However, also again because of the nature of the illness the difficult child has - I feel we must never forget what they are capable of and have a responsibility to ourselves not to forget what they are capable of. Also in certain situations it is perfectly OK to forgive them without needing to vocalize it to them as they can't hear it anyway. Forgiving but no forgetting can lead us to a more peaceful life in my opinion. Sometimes that peace will only last for days and weeks depending on how much we choose to interact with the difficult child - or it can last for years if we choose not to interact with them, which by the way, we are perfectly within our own rights to feel safe and secure by not interacting with them if that is [I]OUR [/I]choice. Also I think once you have identified someone as a difficult child - then it becomes up to you to lay down the boundaries of what you will and won't except. If/when they cross those boundaries is is perfectly acceptable to go low/no contact for however long you the victim in all this, feels comfortable doing so. Forgive? Yes. Forget? NEVER! [/QUOTE]
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What is forgiveness? What does it really mean?
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