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The Watercooler
What is forgiveness? What does it really mean?
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<blockquote data-quote="SuZir" data-source="post: 640880" data-attributes="member: 14557"><p>I believe people's internal workings vary. We do deal with our emotions differently. In fact we do feel them differently. Thus what work for someone may or may not work for the next person. I guess we just have to find ways that work for us.</p><p></p><p>And by the way, both forgiving and apologising can be powerful weapons, if you use them like that. If you declare someone that you forgive them, when they do not even consider they have done something wrong (like you son's wife did), it kind of leaves that person speechless and confused - so you won, if you are inclined to think that. Same thing can be done with apologising. Imagine for example a situation where you have an issue with your spouse about for example chores. You try to take the issue up and talk about that. Instead of actually talking it out with you, you spouse really doesn't talk about it with you, but next time you have a dinner with extended family, makes some kind of blanket apology about everything wrong they have done to you in front of everybody and declare they will not entertain the discussion any more, just apologise any hurt or wrong doing they have been responsible against you. You would again be left speechless, put to position you either have to forgive or seem like a jerk and you would still be left with all the chores, because the actual matter never got addressed. Those are just mind games people play and things like apologises, forgiveness, humility etc. can be powerful weapons, because you can't fight against them without everyone thinking you are a jerk.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="SuZir, post: 640880, member: 14557"] I believe people's internal workings vary. We do deal with our emotions differently. In fact we do feel them differently. Thus what work for someone may or may not work for the next person. I guess we just have to find ways that work for us. And by the way, both forgiving and apologising can be powerful weapons, if you use them like that. If you declare someone that you forgive them, when they do not even consider they have done something wrong (like you son's wife did), it kind of leaves that person speechless and confused - so you won, if you are inclined to think that. Same thing can be done with apologising. Imagine for example a situation where you have an issue with your spouse about for example chores. You try to take the issue up and talk about that. Instead of actually talking it out with you, you spouse really doesn't talk about it with you, but next time you have a dinner with extended family, makes some kind of blanket apology about everything wrong they have done to you in front of everybody and declare they will not entertain the discussion any more, just apologise any hurt or wrong doing they have been responsible against you. You would again be left speechless, put to position you either have to forgive or seem like a jerk and you would still be left with all the chores, because the actual matter never got addressed. Those are just mind games people play and things like apologises, forgiveness, humility etc. can be powerful weapons, because you can't fight against them without everyone thinking you are a jerk. [/QUOTE]
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What is forgiveness? What does it really mean?
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