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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 693491" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Of course I could be wrong, but I have to respectfully disagree with the above poster. The child is not a substance abuser. His birthmother was. Alcohol in utero damages impulsive control in the brain. Yes, the behaviors are annoying, but they really are not willful misbehavior.</p><p></p><p>Regular parenting and common sense methods dont usially work with kids whi have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). dont blame yourself. Nobody could have done better. you cant force a cihild who is differently wired to listen, no matter what method you try. My autistic son used to bite me or throw his time out chair or break his door..until he received interventions that helped his disorder. And its a serious disorder as you know. This is not about lack of consistency by itself. Or about your assertiveness skills. Its about the child's brain damage. I successfully raised a child whose birthmother used drugs and drank while pregnant and he needed help and treatment to even be able to behave well.</p><p></p><p>Now he is an angel.</p><p></p><p>Be proactive about having him evaluated and getting support. You need to learn what works and does not for a child with this sort of organic brain damage.</p><p></p><p>Good luck and let go of any guilt. This damage to him happened before you met him...before he was even born.</p><p></p><p>Hugs.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 693491, member: 1550"] Of course I could be wrong, but I have to respectfully disagree with the above poster. The child is not a substance abuser. His birthmother was. Alcohol in utero damages impulsive control in the brain. Yes, the behaviors are annoying, but they really are not willful misbehavior. Regular parenting and common sense methods dont usially work with kids whi have Fetal Alcohol Syndrome (FAS). dont blame yourself. Nobody could have done better. you cant force a cihild who is differently wired to listen, no matter what method you try. My autistic son used to bite me or throw his time out chair or break his door..until he received interventions that helped his disorder. And its a serious disorder as you know. This is not about lack of consistency by itself. Or about your assertiveness skills. Its about the child's brain damage. I successfully raised a child whose birthmother used drugs and drank while pregnant and he needed help and treatment to even be able to behave well. Now he is an angel. Be proactive about having him evaluated and getting support. You need to learn what works and does not for a child with this sort of organic brain damage. Good luck and let go of any guilt. This damage to him happened before you met him...before he was even born. Hugs. [/QUOTE]
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