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General Parenting
What is with this time of year? Advice please!
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<blockquote data-quote="neednewtechnique" data-source="post: 36509" data-attributes="member: 3527"><p>For us, not because our difficult child was trying to sneak objects that could be considered as weapons, but for her own safety, we had to lock everything up in a lock box, plus we were checking her on a regular basis to ensure that she had not "aquired" any new items that could be of danger to her. It actually got to the point where her psychiatrist suggested we not even allow her access to paperclips, becuase they can be sharp objects if unfolded.....</p><p></p><p>I know it sucks to have to do that to your difficult child, and it might make things worse at home having that daily action that shows him there are certain ways you don't trust him, but patting him down seems like a reasonable solution. Having a difficult child for as many years as you have, I am sure you already know this, but it might be a good thing to find some time when he is in a good mood and just try to have a conversation with him about it. Having an impulse control problem, you must be sure to tell him that you understand it is hard for him to control that "need" on his own, so you are simply trying to help him to keep him out of trouble. If it causes a problem, talk to his therapist, and if you can convince her to tell him that is what she is insisting you do everyday, sometimes that will help take the blame off you and put it on someone else that he is likely to accept it from. Many times our therapist has backed us up like this. She has always insisted that we try to discuss it with our difficult child first, but if it doesn't go well, she will sit down with our difficult child and discuss the issue, and without letting difficult child know that she talked to US about it, she makes it sound like all her idea. This provides another help because not only is difficult child hearing it from someone else, but now it shows our difficult child that we aren't completely crazy and that the idea isn't so crazy we are the only ones that thought of it. If that makes any sense at all....</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="neednewtechnique, post: 36509, member: 3527"] For us, not because our difficult child was trying to sneak objects that could be considered as weapons, but for her own safety, we had to lock everything up in a lock box, plus we were checking her on a regular basis to ensure that she had not "aquired" any new items that could be of danger to her. It actually got to the point where her psychiatrist suggested we not even allow her access to paperclips, becuase they can be sharp objects if unfolded..... I know it sucks to have to do that to your difficult child, and it might make things worse at home having that daily action that shows him there are certain ways you don't trust him, but patting him down seems like a reasonable solution. Having a difficult child for as many years as you have, I am sure you already know this, but it might be a good thing to find some time when he is in a good mood and just try to have a conversation with him about it. Having an impulse control problem, you must be sure to tell him that you understand it is hard for him to control that "need" on his own, so you are simply trying to help him to keep him out of trouble. If it causes a problem, talk to his therapist, and if you can convince her to tell him that is what she is insisting you do everyday, sometimes that will help take the blame off you and put it on someone else that he is likely to accept it from. Many times our therapist has backed us up like this. She has always insisted that we try to discuss it with our difficult child first, but if it doesn't go well, she will sit down with our difficult child and discuss the issue, and without letting difficult child know that she talked to US about it, she makes it sound like all her idea. This provides another help because not only is difficult child hearing it from someone else, but now it shows our difficult child that we aren't completely crazy and that the idea isn't so crazy we are the only ones that thought of it. If that makes any sense at all.... [/QUOTE]
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What is with this time of year? Advice please!
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