WHAT is WRONG with people? (rant of sorts)

[Star*]

I'm in line at the post office today. As I walk up to the doors I see a woman who is OBVIOUSLY not handicapped, NO handicapped plate, NO handicapped hanger. She started to walk in. I felt the need to remind her that she did not put her hanger in the window - and police were ticketing for that heavily this time of year. She glared at me and said "I ain't (don't you love the grammar) no cripple, (gotta love the education) why I need (no preposition?) a sticker?" I said -"You're parked in a handicapped spot." she said "So." and went in the post office. I pretended to take her picture with my phone - and she got out of line - went out, moved her car - and just kept on going. Here in SC if you take a picture of someones car in a handicapped spot that can't prove they are? You get a ticket, have to go to court, and get a fine and community service. We DO have the sticker - but rarely use it.

As I'm going into the post office ANOTHER person pulls in the spot ALSO without a sticker...I stood there looking - they backed out and parked elsewhere. But not in time for an elderly couple WITH handicapped tags. So they parked across the lot. It's a bit of a walk to the front door, and then inside to the post office.

So here comes this elderly man and woman trunk open with BOXES - nice sized, heavy looking boxes FOR OUR MEN AND WOMEN IN MILITARY - and NOT ONE person held the door for this man. There are MEN behind me -no one moved. So I stepped out of line - told the man behind me - HOLD MY SPOT I"M GOING TO HELP THIS GENTLEMAN...and helped him get the boxes IN and....INTO the post office. His wife - guessing 84 or more held the door.

The line did move up - I went back to my place in line. No big deal.

A man behind the man that was behind me made a comment about ME cutting in line. So I explained to him that I was just in line, stepped out to help this fella and his wife carry in these 20lb a piece boxes for the men and women in the military and he said "So - you got out of line."

The man behind me was sending in an application to Food Lion for a management position - and had used a post office envelope. He stood in line for a while and then pretended like he FORGOT something - left and drove off. WITH the envelope. Okay - so you're too poor to buy an envelope to mail an application - that you filled out for a managers job - and you stole the envelope? Ugh. When he got out of line that put me and MR. CRAB next to each other, but that wasn't the best part.

Another woman was actually standing in line SHOVING birthday gifts in a box and begging the postal worker for some tape to shut her box and THEN kept the rest of us waiting WHILE she filled out the forms - in triplicate and finished taping her box.

And the elderly man whom I helped? NEVER said thanks - not nothing - nor his wife. Just like I didn't exist.

So I gotta ask - WHAT is wrong with people? Are we all so unthankful?
And as I left - the parking spot with the handicapped sign? Was occupied by an obvious teenagers car who wasn't even AT the post office - she was walking into the nail salon as I was getting into my car.

I guess I'm just fed up - needed to get this out. I think I'm going to print some flyers (small ones) to put onthe windshields of cars that park in Handicapped spots....must work on the wording/verbage - but it's coming.

 

[mrscatinthehat]

OH how annoying. husband and I had a debate a while back. At the place we work, I work when no one else is there. So he drives in and goes to park in the handicapped spot. I looked at him and said what are you doing? He thought I had lost my mind. He went on about how it was closed etc. I said I didn't care. NO parking in the handicapped spot. So he says in such a difficult child way "well D parks there when we are closed". Well D is the owner and if he wants to do that I can't stop him but no husband of mine was going to do that closed or not.

I dont' understand people either. So many just don't get it. I did a little experiment a while back. It was something a college prof had mentioned in a psychiatric class. Try smiling at everyone you see. EVERYONE. I did that one day. You would be so surprised how many people actually glare at you. I dont' get it.

beth

 

[hearts and roses]

WHAT is wrong with people?

Whatever it is, it's no small thing...unbelievable! I see it all around me.

Beth I have done that and I cannot tell you how disappointing it is that people just don't know a good thing when they get it (the smile from a perfect stranger!). Really makes you wonder. I guess all that matters is that you/we are doing the right things.

 

[trinityroyal]

Star, Beth...I'm with you on this one.
If you want some help with the flyer, let me know.

I think the reason is that people have become less mannerly, but they're still aware that good manners are required. When everyone else around them is also acting like a JERK, it makes them feel okay about their jerkishness, because they can tell themselves, "Everyone else is doing it, I can too."

When someone actually takes the time to be polite and thoughtful, it makes people feel ashamed that they're not doing likewise, so they lash out at the person making them experience an unpleasant feeling, rather than behaving properly.

An example:
A friend of mine once told me off for sending thank you notes. She said that she knows she's supposed to send them out, and when I send them out promptly it makes her look bad. So I should stop sending them.

Twisted logic, but there you have it.

I've found that Killing with Kindness works like a treat in these circumstances. I deliberately put the best possible interpretation on people's words, but continue to make my point. If they get nasty, I just blink at them slowly and continue on. It usually makes them wither before my eyes. AND because I'm being sweet as maraschino cherries, it usually gets the crowd on my side too.

But people parking in the handicapped spot...that really rots my socks. Also, people storing the shopping carts in them, piling the ploughed snow from the parking lot in them...all manner of things. Someone in a wheelchair is not going to be able to get out and move the carts, or shovel the piled snow.

What we need is for a traffic officer or 3 to sit there handing out tickets to people. That would deter...

Arrrrgh.

Trinity

 

[klmno]

I'm with you, Star! Not just about this but about a lot of idiotic things I hear people say and do. When I testified in Jan., I went off on a bit of a tangent about people and sorry, but ungrateful Americans. Not that all Americans are, but many are. I served in the military and I'm appalled at people throwing away their votes or voting irresponsibly (ie- just to get another buck in their pocket or not even knowing what the candidate stands for). Then, once I had a psychiatrist want to put me on medications because she said I had social phobia. I told the judge, "What intelligent person wouldn't be afraid of this society? Have you seen the safety net in place for our kids? Have you looked at how people think more backward than they did over 50 years ago? And I should be on medications so I become numb to it all and can ignore it? I think not." (My difficult child is on medications so don't get me wrong, I was just referring to myself for 'being afraid of society')

Anyway- I'm getting Occupational Therapist (OT)- yes, some people just don't get it and never will. Keep fighting for what is right but please don;t let this ruin your day. You have too much to be happy about today!!

And I just checked my mail and received the list! That made my day- along with your pep talk and encouragement on getting some things accomplished at the house!

Be happy in spite of them and just keep advocating for those who need it- that is my suggestion, now that I'm feeling better LOL!

 

[TerryJ2]

Arrrgh!
That's why I prefer ordering online. I don't have to see "real" people.
I saw some show on TV a cpl yrs ago that videotaped people deliberately pkng at expired meters and not putting in $. When the interviewer asked them why, they waved him off and made mean faces. The TV commentator said they assumed that being on TV would be enough of a deterrent ... but the same people came back and did it again and were filmed again!
Some people will never "get it."

So, wording for your flyer:

UNLESS YOU ARE A TRIPLE AMPUTEE OR HAVE A BONA FIDE HANDICAPPED LICENSE PLATE OR TEMPORARY TAG, DO NOT PARK HERE. NO EXCEPTIONS FOR MISSING BRAIN CELLS.

 

[meowbunny]

My ditzy cell phone in the turkey friend had a perfect solution. If she saw someone in the handicapped spot who obviously had no reason to be there except to save a few steps, she'd get her car and park right behind them. Then she'd go and do her shopping, taking her very sweet time. Since she is a paraplegic and does have a placard, most people would sit there and stew. A few actually apologized to her but most would just barrel out as soon as they could.

One of the big things that sold me on moving to this part of Florida was the kindness here. My scooter once got a flat. A gentleman on a bike stopped, rode to the grocery store about a mile away and came back with some stuff to fix the flat. He refused to even let me pay for the fix-it stuff.

Today, my car died. As I was waiting for AAA to come tow it, 5 people stopped to ask if I needed help.

People actually do smile at each other here. You get glared at if you don't return the smile. For a community of 70,000, it has a remarkably small-town attitude. I hope it continues as we baby boomers keep moving in.

And, Star, whether the elderly couple said thank you or not, you did the right thing. Personally, I'm proud of you and glad that you are my on-line friend.

 

[slsh]

Oh Starbie - you have hit on my pet peeve. Handicapped parking. I actually had a very healthy, athletic, youngish man yell at me one day when I pointed out he was parked illegally - he said it was none of my business since I had my own handicapped space (Boo was with me). He actually was quite menacing... I don't confront people in person anymore - not worth getting shot over.

But I *do* have little pre-printed notes that I leave. Just a reminder that they don't have proper placard/license plate to be parked where they are and if they're not handicapped, they perhaps shouldn't tempt fate because one day they might find out how utterly infuriating it is when able-bodied idiots park illegally. Also a reminder that if they have $200 spare cash, giving it to charity might be a better idea than paying such high "parking fees" when they get a ticket.

These people make me *nuts*!!!!!

 

[mstang67chic]

Everyone (but us of course) is stupid.

'nuff said.

 

[donna723]

Maybe you could print yourself off some stickers (bright yellow would be good!) that read:

I PARK ILLEGALLY IN
HANDICAPPED SPACES!!!​

You don't even have to talk to the people ... just plaster one on the back of their car as you walk by!

*****************

I was in our tiny little local post office one day and there was a young guy in there who was loudly ranting and raving about something ... who knows what. He was very obviously from some other part of the country - definitely not a local and he was annoying everybody else who was in there. There was also a very dignified, very elderly Mennonite gentleman who was just standing there observing him. When the younger guy walked past him, still ranting, he quietly said "Young man, around here we usually try to be NICE to people!" The guy quickly shut his mouth and slunk off to his car! He actually looked embarassed!​

 

[KTMom91]

Wish I knew why people acted the way they do. When Hubby and I went out for my birthday dinner, a girl (about 14) was carrying three leftover cartons of food, and one slid off and hit the floor. She stood there, holding the other two cartons, not sure what to do. I went over and held the two cartons for her so she could pick up the third that still had most of the food in it. I was NOT the nearest person.

Courtesy is really becoming rare.

 

[Wiped Out]

Oh, I wish I knew the answer to that Star! It is so frustrating! I love that you got the person to move out of the handicapped spot!

 

[Andy]

"I ain't no cripple! Why I need a sticker?" sounds like a good way to start your flier. Continue with "If your education is such that you really do not know what this parking spot is for, then you do not belong in it. Your stupidity shines loud and clear when you park in spots not for you. Your car's info is on its way to the police. Have an expensive day!"

Two years ago I was furious while standing in the postal Christmas line. Another lady who obviously had also stood for way too long finally had her turn. She stood there quietly while her packages where being weighed. She kept her mouth shut while she paid for her postage. Then, when the transaction was complete, she finally realized that she knew the person waiting on her and started a gab session! I felt like screaming, "Get your butt out of here. If you want to gab, find out when that person's break time is and meet her then."

We fortunately don't have problems with people in handicapped spots. In fact, we have the opposite problem. Very seldom are they used. Those who should be using them will refuse to if there is another close one because "Someone else may need it". Thus, we get crowded lots with only about 10 - 20 open handicapped spots. If those people who are suppose to use them would, it will open up parking spots for the rest of us.

 

[Jena]

ok i have no great words tonight other than to say that sometimes ppl just s*ck. They really do.

 

[witzend]

How about "I took a photo of you and your car and am sending it in to traffic court. Please expect a $250 ticket for parking in a disabled space without a tag." Then do it!

I have no idea why people don't say thank you. When I was about 17 years old, an adult very frankly told me, "Do you realize that you never say 'thank you' to anyone for anything?" I hadn't realized it, but it was very easy to change. I say 'thank you' to people I'm doing something for. They usually correct themselves and thank me in return.

I figure a good deed is it's own reward. The guy behind me? I probably would have told him "Grow up!" and left it at that. Although at this time of the year I probably would have added "Scrooge" to the end of it! And yes, I have said stuff like that to people in lines before when they say something that stupid.

 

[totoro]

Me too!
I admit I can bite peoples heads off if they tick me off. But, I always hold doors open, I always help people no matter what age. I say please and thank you... I don't even have to think about things like this. I would never park in a handicapped spot!
I have gotten flack from the in-laws for expecting and making the girls say please and thank you, always.

This is one of the things I love about husband, he is a Gentleman and he honestly helps people just because.

As for all of the rest of the nation, besides us on the board here.
I have no clue???
Just today I had Mom at N's Gymnastic class. She was letting her 2 toddlers climb on wobbly stools in front of me, away from her. They were climbing on them and pushing themselves against the wall and window. Kept almost falling onto the concrete floor. I would kind of gasp, with the 4 people sitting next to me as well.
I had to keep my foot next to the stools and have my hands ready to catch the kids if and when they fell... when the 3rd kid came and started screaming and pushing, she came over and took them away.
When she said, "excuse me" I moved my foot and said, "Oh, I was just making sure they didn't fall on the concrete"
She just walked away.
People!!!

 

[Big Bad Kitty]

This is why I don't leave my house. People svck.

 

[susiestar]

I am sorry people are so rude and awful in so many places.

When I go places here I get smiles, offers of help, and people are very careful of handicapped spots (largely because our police dept is rabid about keeping them for those of us with stickers - I have a permanent one. I look young and not disabled at first, but even the man who stopped to talk to me about using a handicapped spot when I "don't need it" apologized when he saw me try to get out of the car. It is very painful to me, so he saw the problem and apologized.)

When I smile at people they smile back. Jess will be in the car with me and smile and wave at as many people in cars as possible. You would be amazed at how many people start with-a frown and end up smiling and waving.

Star, you are more than welcome to move here where people are still mostly nice.

Heck, I was at walmart and had kitty litter and a huge bag of cat food. The lady checking me out wouldn't let me go until someone was there to help me get them into the car. She had noticed me parking in a handicapped spot and remembered me!

I am sorry people were so rude and nasty to you.

 

[Nomad]

Good news and bad news. Want to end on an up note, so I'll start with the bad news

I've posted about this before and I'm still finding folks rude and I still don't "get" it. husband and I switched to a discount dry cleaner because of the economy. The woman they have working behind the counter literally does not speak to me! Even if there is no one behind me, she quickly grabs my clothes and check and never says a word. I can say "hello," "good afternoon" and she says nothing. If I FORCE interaction, she will quietly say "hello." They have a big sign that says "Turn off your cell phone when entering." I feel like they are the laundry Natzi's.



Good news...
I have noticed a few places lately...service has been BETTER!
Friendlier, etc. I think they have FINALLY FINALLY FINALLY figured out that you are more likely to get repeated customers with better service.
Like, duh? Of course, we are all cutting back and I suppose everyone has also figured out that if they don't get at least a few repeat customers, they might be in trouble. It is ashame that it took a recession to figure this simple thing out.

In addition, in my humble opinion, life is just nicer when we are nicer to people.

Well...at least some people are being nicer....

p.s. For the foks who park in the handicap spots illegally, I DO like that bumper sticker idea!

 

[Marguerite]

Star, you said, "I think I'm going to print some flyers (small ones) to put onthe windshields of cars that park in Handicapped spots....must work on the wording/verbage - but it's coming."

I park in disabled spaces, but then - I have a permit. I walk with a crutch and often have mother in law in the car who is very frail and uses a walking stick.

I also get narky with people who park in disabled spots wrongly. What they do around here to avoid getting a ticket - you will find someone sitting in the driver's seat often with the motor running, waiting for their passenger. If you challenge them they will say, "Oh, I would have moved if someone came along," but I have been sitting waiting behind one of these people and they carefully don't notice, even if you honk the horn. or they get rude about it and either try to make light of it or turn it around to say something like, "It's people like you who give disabled people a bad name." (as if disabled people have a bad name? circular logic).

So about wording - I have some examples for you. I've used both.

The first is from sister in law, this was a flyer that was freely available in WA for disabled people to put under windscreen wipers. "You have my parking space. Would you like my disability too?" (I like to add - "it can be arranged...")

The second is my own invention. I made up a lot of them and kept them in the car to use. I would send the kids along the line of parked cars to flag any parked in disabled spots without permits.
I wrote, "Isn't it interesting how much we have in common?
We both drive cars.
We both have trouble finding parking spaces.
We're both disabled - I can't walk, you can't read."

I followed that in small print, "Please be more considerate next time. One day you may be genuinely disabled and value a community that considers your needs better than mine have been considered today. If you already are genuinely disabled but do not have a permit, then please get one from the authorities, it's not a difficult process and it would save you from embarrassing notes like this one."

And if you're REALLY narked off at someone (say, they were really rude to you and refused to move their car, flipping you off at the same time or worse) then might I suggest lipstick on the wiper blades? Another good one is to write in lipstick on the headlights. Write it in mirror image, so when they turn on their headlights they can read what you wrote on the road in front of them.

Just make sure they can't come back to get you.

Marg