what next

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Big Bad Kitty, Dec 7, 2008.

  1. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    So yesterday was Tink's birthday party. We went to Chuck E Cheese. I hate that place. Anyways, we were wondering why Matt did not show up with Tink's little brother.

    Today he calls me. Collect. Yup, he's in jail. For burglary! They set his bond at $100,000! He might get six years.

    As if Tink weren't already a basket case. She fell apart today. I felt so useless. "When can I see daddy?" I don't have an answer for her nor a way to fix it. I told her that we'd be allowed to see him in jail, but she immediately said no. She said "mommy, there's glass between us...and I wouldn't even be able to hold his hand..." My heart is in pieces for her.

    He was just getting his act together too. He was giving me money every week. Not a whole lot, but something. He was seeing Tink pretty regular. Why did he have to be so friggin stupid!

    I sure know how to pick 'em...
  2. klmno

    klmno Active Member

    I'm so sorry- this is such a disappointment, for you as well as Tink. All I can say is that I'm glad she has you. At least she knows one good parent who really thinks about doing what is in her best interest. M might have been helping and being good toward her for a while, but obviously, he wasn't really thinking about his daughter when he did this.

    We're here- hang in there for Tink's sake, as I know you will. My heart breaks for her, too.

    PS Please tell Tink that all her board aunties wish her a very happy year ahead , as she is growing up to be a very special young lady now!! Happy birthday, Tink!
  3. Lothlorien

    Lothlorien Active Member Staff Member

    What a dope! And to get arrested for her birthday.....SMACK HIM FOR US!
  4. witzend

    witzend Well-Known Member

    Where is Tink (and all the other Tinks) going to get an idea of what a real man, a real husban, and a real father is all about? This is just so disappointing for everyone, but especially for her and her brother.
  5. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I'm so sorry to hear that, just when you think it's safe to go back into the water. Ugh!

    Just remember that you are a great parent and the kids are lucky to have you. I"m sorry this happened. She'll be ok and be a strong woman because she has you.


    oh and happy belated birthday Tink!!! :)
  6. tiredmommy

    tiredmommy Site Moderator

    I think the hardest part of being a parent must be when someone else disappoints your child. We all know you can't fix this for Tink, but you can reassure her that she's loved.

    As for M, he doesn't deserve to be a father. {{{Hugs}}}
  7. Big Bad Kitty

    Big Bad Kitty lolcat

    Thanks, guys.

    No, he sure doesn't deserve to be a father, does he. He is letting down a 2 yr old little boy, his only daughter, and 3 older sons. Not to mention 4 moms who at this point have no chance of getting any child support from him.

    I heard from the little guy's mom today (princess sparkle fanny). She didn't know that I had already talked to Matt so she was calling to explain why the little guy wasn't at Tink's party yesterday. She says that he says that this burglary happened a couple years ago, and that he just happened to be pulled over in the town where the burglary took place, and they told him they had evidence on him so they booked him. I don't know, sounds fishy to me. Whatever the case, he's looking at going away for a long time.

    This is killing Tink. Which of course means it is killing me. Dammit. I can't fix this or make it better.

    I am in for one hell of a ride with this kid.
  8. Ropefree

    Ropefree Banned

    Deciding not to let adults hurt a child is a challenge.
  9. flutterbee

    flutterbee Guest

    Ugh. BBK, so sorry for Tink and so sorry for you.

  10. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    BBK, I just don't know what to say.
    Sorry that M is putting Tink and his other kids through this. And sorry that you're having to deal with the fallout.

    It's he// watching our kids hurt.


  11. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    (((hugs)))) I'm so sorry.
  12. Steely

    Steely Active Member

    I have dealt with this in my difficult child's life since he was 3.
    I saw difficult child literally melt into pieces because he could not have his daddy. Because suddenly daddy did not call, or show up, or was "away".
    I took him to see daddy, but it was through the "glass" and traumatizing.
    I know.
    And I am so sorry.
    So, so sorry.
    I want, hope, and pray, that not one other child would ever have to endure this in their lifetime.
    But know, that Tink is not alone, and she will get through this. Like many others.
    There are support groups in many communities designed for kids that parents are continually in trouble with the law. Perhaps Tink can become a member.

    A zillion hugs Kitty.
    I know how $%@! crummyy this is.

    (And PS I freaking HATE ChuckyCheese - been there done that
    What is wrong with that place - ???? It gives me hives :sad-very:)
  13. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    Well I for one know that her being a fellow Sag. and watching my Dad sit in prison or house arrest for very stupid things... she WILL be strong and she will get through this.
    Plus and it is a huge plus + she has a great Mom.
    I am so sorry. I am so sad that you have to feel this and see Tink suffer through this.
    I know you had hoped he was gonna keep doing well.
  14. totoro

    totoro Mom? What's a GFG?

    hate Chuck-E-Cheese as well!!! Sensory overload for the kids and parents...
  15. Abbey

    Abbey Spork Queen

    So sorry, BBK. I think sometimes you have to make the hard decision to NOT involve another person in your child's life until they are old enough to understand all the aspects.

    Hugs to you and Tink...a nice head bonk to dad.

  16. katya02

    katya02 Solace

    I'm so sorry, BBK. How frustrating. Hugs to you and Tink.
  17. mrscatinthehat

    mrscatinthehat Seussical

    Hugs to all. It is so very hard to see our kids hurt. This is not for you to fix. I know that is even harder. You are a good mom and she sees that. You must let go of the stuff you can't control. Beleive me I know how hard that is. I used to mubble it all the time as a reminder.

    Again hugs.

  18. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I'm so sorry you're left holding the bag on this one. I hate seeing our kids hurt, especially by the "absent parent." Many hugs to you and Tink. Hope she had a great birthday!
  19. hearts and roses

    hearts and roses Mind Reader

    Sorry BBK - It stinks that you're the one who has to deal with the aftermath of his horrible actions. I hope Tink feels better in time and that you're able to help her understand things. Hugs~
  20. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It


    I am SO SORRY that M decided to do something that would break Tink's heart. Her grasp of visits in jail with glass between them is heartbreaking.

    I hope she had a good birthday otherwise, and that she can remember she has an incredible mom who will always be there for her.

    Many hugs, and a big ole' thump on the head for M.

    I know your heart it breaking for tink.