Our lawyer tellls me with difficult child's arrest and prior history we have a very good chance of working with the court to develop some kind of plan to get difficult child into programs. For sure, he will have a probation officer and mandated therapy, but is thinking that we should start with an evaluation, which I agree with, then a period of time in either rehab or dual-diagnosis. Yesterday, I spoke with an SA counselor whom I know very well who is also a former heroin addict. He believes there is no point in rehab, difficult child has already been to Wilderness for 90 days and has been in IOPs on more than off for the past 1.5 years. His advice is to focus on individual therapy. WE do have an in-home program through DCF that we started about a month ago in preparation for his discharge from IOP - this fellow tells me the judge will love that. difficult child talks about being done for sure for now due to probation "there is no choice I am not risking going to jail to some pot", but he is also telling the sad story about how someone like him should not be brought into the law, he wasn't doing addictive drugs and he wasn't hurting anyone. My friend the counselor says if that's the way he is talking, he's not done. difficult child tells me that whil he was at bording school last year, he had extended periods of time of sobriety, he claims 3-4 month at a time with ususally a single incident of relapse in between. Who knows. The story he tells now is that he had been doing well and staying sober for at least a montha nd everything that was found was from a very bad relapse that started about 2 weeks ago. He talks about how he thought he had found a way to "moderate" and that he thought he would be fine.....if he stuck with just pot and hallucinigens that aren't addictive, he would be OK. When going through his cell phone history, it tells a different story. It's hard to find that period of sobriety in the phone. difficult child feels great remorse and shame and he has accepted that he has no choice than to stop if even for just probation and is positive he is going away, but tells me how to find a place where they allow cigarettes and contact with your friends. He also tells me that parents that come down too hard with too many crazy consequences make things worse. I am troubled by this. I have seen him in acceptance before and this doesn't feel the same. Part of me thinks, who care, rebah is still his best chance of starting again and somehow getting to acceptance again. Not to stop for now, but, hey, maybe I need to be sober, for real. What do you guys think?