So, to be brief (lol).........I am in an incredible dilemma. When H. died she did not have a will, so her house and all of her belongings went to my parents according to Oregon law. My parents did not want to act suddenly on anything and so they have been letting H.'s partner (of 1 year) live in the house rent free, and keep all of her belongings. I have expressed repeatedly that I wanted H.'s books and a couple of other things - but my parents said that the partner may want those too - and that if I wanted to go up to Oregon and negotiate with the partner what I may want I could do that. I decided I could not do that at the time because I was unsure I could emotionally handle all of this. So fast forward 6 months to now. Probate is up, and now my parents are telling the partner that she can buy the house from them - and they are going up to tomorrow to go through H.'s things. I told them that I really needed/wanted to be up there for this, and they got really mad, and told me that I was being demanding and selfish. What do I do? Do I go up there and fight for holding on to scraps of H.'s life? H. could not stand my parents - I know she would not want them rifling through her things. I know I do not want that for her. I feel strongly that I should take ownership of her things, including her house - but it really is too late now. Probate is over. The house is my parent's property and they can do what they want. Besides I know the partner has already taken her private, precious things so my parents do not have them. You guys know my emotional state right now. It is rocky at best. I can barely handle work, let alone this - but I want to do whatever it takes if I know it is the right thing to do. If it helps me be at peace with her death, if it helps me honor her. Will I completely and forever regret dismissing this entire thing? I only having an old jewelry box of stuff to remember H. by and pictures - maybe that is enough? Can I live strong knowing she is in my heart and soul? Or is this more about what she would want. Really, any advice is welcome. Time is running out, and I have to make a decision by Sat. PS, the other dilemma is getting H's case solved, which if I went up to Oregon is the other part of what I would focus on. But that can or maybe should be separate from this decision.