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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 720256" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>It is highly likely your child is so difficult at home because he works super hard at school to hold it all together and to behave the way he thinks he is supposed to behave. Then he comes home, where he is safe and loved, and he just falls apart. This is good, because you know he feels safe and loved by you. He feels you will love him even when he is his absolute worst. It is bad because you have to deal with the absolute worst behaviors and your child falling apart all the time. </p><p></p><p>Make his school day less difficult for him. Challenge the school to make his day easier. It shouldn't be so hard that he comes home and falls apart. It just shouldn't. Insist they give you what you want, even if they don't have problems. Who cares if they see you as difficult? Many times they saw me as absolutely impossible. I was the room mom, the mom who volunteered for anything and was always there to lend a hand. I was also the mom who insisted on exactly what my kid needed, when my kid needed it. Delay it and we had a problem. A BIG problem. I didn't hesitate to call in the director of special education (she finally just came to all our IEP meetings as a general rule to make sure I was given what I asked for) or the superintendent of schools. I got to be on a first name basis with his secretary. I used to bring her cookies. She liked me. It meant I got what I wanted. Often she wouldn't even bother the superintendent, she just told whomever was annoying me to give me what I wanted. It really upset a few principals. Which made me happy. THey were upsetting me. </p><p></p><p>Let them know you won't back down. Get an advocate. Get a lawyer if you need one. Insist on the Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. And any other thing that will help him. Explain that while he may be well behaved for them, the school day is so difficult for him that he is unable to cope by the time he gets home. This is a problem that needs fixing. They will help you fix it. Or else. You don't say the or else part. You just imply it. At least I did. They didn't get it at first. Then they did.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 720256, member: 1233"] It is highly likely your child is so difficult at home because he works super hard at school to hold it all together and to behave the way he thinks he is supposed to behave. Then he comes home, where he is safe and loved, and he just falls apart. This is good, because you know he feels safe and loved by you. He feels you will love him even when he is his absolute worst. It is bad because you have to deal with the absolute worst behaviors and your child falling apart all the time. Make his school day less difficult for him. Challenge the school to make his day easier. It shouldn't be so hard that he comes home and falls apart. It just shouldn't. Insist they give you what you want, even if they don't have problems. Who cares if they see you as difficult? Many times they saw me as absolutely impossible. I was the room mom, the mom who volunteered for anything and was always there to lend a hand. I was also the mom who insisted on exactly what my kid needed, when my kid needed it. Delay it and we had a problem. A BIG problem. I didn't hesitate to call in the director of special education (she finally just came to all our IEP meetings as a general rule to make sure I was given what I asked for) or the superintendent of schools. I got to be on a first name basis with his secretary. I used to bring her cookies. She liked me. It meant I got what I wanted. Often she wouldn't even bother the superintendent, she just told whomever was annoying me to give me what I wanted. It really upset a few principals. Which made me happy. THey were upsetting me. Let them know you won't back down. Get an advocate. Get a lawyer if you need one. Insist on the Occupational Therapist (OT) evaluation. And any other thing that will help him. Explain that while he may be well behaved for them, the school day is so difficult for him that he is unable to cope by the time he gets home. This is a problem that needs fixing. They will help you fix it. Or else. You don't say the or else part. You just imply it. At least I did. They didn't get it at first. Then they did. [/QUOTE]
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