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What to do next for explosive 10 year old?
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<blockquote data-quote="susiestar" data-source="post: 718267" data-attributes="member: 1233"><p>I am sorry you have to deal withthis. I know how scary it can be. been there done that, Know what I mean??? I would start the process for a neuropsychologist evaluation asap. I would also start another IEP evaluation/update because you are clearly not where you need to be. </p><p></p><p>Have you read The Explosive Child and What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You? Both are very good and highly recommended here. Different authors, but both are excellent. You may want to start there as you wait for evaluations. You also may want to talk with your psychiatrist about an antipsychotic medication. I don't know if it would help ornot. I do know that we used one with my oldest when he would explode like that and it helped greatly. That is an extremely personal decision and one only you can make. In our situation, my son was attacking his little sister and harming her and we didn't have very many options at the time. We felt something had to give or someone was going to get seriously harmed. </p><p></p><p>I don't think he hears any of your warnings that his time is up. He is too into his game to have any idea that you exist. I used to have this problem with my family and I solved it. People often thought I was nuts with my solution if they didn't know what I was doing, but if I cared enough to explain, they thought I was a genius. My children responded to dessert. I noticed that I could be in another room and if I mentioned, in a whisper, anything to do with chocolate pudding, or chocolate chip cookies, or anything chocolate, I instantly had their attention. So when I got tired of trying to make transitions and not being heard, I used it. Because they could be deep in a game on the computer and still hear me three rooms away while I was whispering!</p><p></p><p>The first 7-10 days I said "chocolate chip cookies" when I wanted them to do anything and I gave them each a cookie every time. Or I used "Chocolate Pudding" but they got the reward every single time. I kept that up so they got used to getting the reward and they got trained. Then they got the reward every other time for a week or so. Then they got it every 3rd time or maybe every other time. Then it became when I wanted it. But I always had the reward on hand so that if I noticed they were not paying attention I could give them the reward more often for a few days so they would wonder. Psychology tells us that the most effective reward schedule is the one that is not every time and not predictable. So that they never know if this time will be a reward or won't be a reward. </p><p></p><p>For my kids the reward that worked was chocolate. I don't know what will motivate your kids. I know my reward worked for years. It is kind of a family joke because even though I have not done it for years, I can walk into a room and call out "chocolate chip cookie dough" and every one of my kids drops everything to look at me. Even the one that hasn't lived with me for years!</p><p></p><p>If nothing else, make sure your son stops his game and is looking at you and is paying attention to you each time you warn him that his game will be ending. I seriously doubt he is getting any of your warnings. I know you are giving them, but he is not receiving them. Gently turn his face to you and have him look into your face when you are speaking to him, which also may drive him crazy. Or offer him a piece of gum or candy with the warning. An M&M or something that he likes, which will probably drive him a lot less crazy. Something to get his attention.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="susiestar, post: 718267, member: 1233"] I am sorry you have to deal withthis. I know how scary it can be. been there done that, Know what I mean??? I would start the process for a neuropsychologist evaluation asap. I would also start another IEP evaluation/update because you are clearly not where you need to be. Have you read The Explosive Child and What Your Explosive Child is Trying to Tell You? Both are very good and highly recommended here. Different authors, but both are excellent. You may want to start there as you wait for evaluations. You also may want to talk with your psychiatrist about an antipsychotic medication. I don't know if it would help ornot. I do know that we used one with my oldest when he would explode like that and it helped greatly. That is an extremely personal decision and one only you can make. In our situation, my son was attacking his little sister and harming her and we didn't have very many options at the time. We felt something had to give or someone was going to get seriously harmed. I don't think he hears any of your warnings that his time is up. He is too into his game to have any idea that you exist. I used to have this problem with my family and I solved it. People often thought I was nuts with my solution if they didn't know what I was doing, but if I cared enough to explain, they thought I was a genius. My children responded to dessert. I noticed that I could be in another room and if I mentioned, in a whisper, anything to do with chocolate pudding, or chocolate chip cookies, or anything chocolate, I instantly had their attention. So when I got tired of trying to make transitions and not being heard, I used it. Because they could be deep in a game on the computer and still hear me three rooms away while I was whispering! The first 7-10 days I said "chocolate chip cookies" when I wanted them to do anything and I gave them each a cookie every time. Or I used "Chocolate Pudding" but they got the reward every single time. I kept that up so they got used to getting the reward and they got trained. Then they got the reward every other time for a week or so. Then they got it every 3rd time or maybe every other time. Then it became when I wanted it. But I always had the reward on hand so that if I noticed they were not paying attention I could give them the reward more often for a few days so they would wonder. Psychology tells us that the most effective reward schedule is the one that is not every time and not predictable. So that they never know if this time will be a reward or won't be a reward. For my kids the reward that worked was chocolate. I don't know what will motivate your kids. I know my reward worked for years. It is kind of a family joke because even though I have not done it for years, I can walk into a room and call out "chocolate chip cookie dough" and every one of my kids drops everything to look at me. Even the one that hasn't lived with me for years! If nothing else, make sure your son stops his game and is looking at you and is paying attention to you each time you warn him that his game will be ending. I seriously doubt he is getting any of your warnings. I know you are giving them, but he is not receiving them. Gently turn his face to you and have him look into your face when you are speaking to him, which also may drive him crazy. Or offer him a piece of gum or candy with the warning. An M&M or something that he likes, which will probably drive him a lot less crazy. Something to get his attention. [/QUOTE]
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