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What to do (or not do) next
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<blockquote data-quote="RN0441" data-source="post: 688702" data-attributes="member: 15032"><p>As per my post last week, my son's therapist wasn't too happy with him. I was very angry with him after I talked to her and deferred further contact to his father for the time being.</p><p></p><p>After much thought and conversation with his dad, we felt that son IS doing pretty well. Works 35 hours per week and has been for 6 weeks, has gotten one promotion (busboy to food runner) and now trying for server and has been sober 3 months. </p><p></p><p>He said he was depressed at home. Is happy in Florida. Likes his job. Feels he's "doing good". It's a different world for him. Doesn't want to come home. All positive things.</p><p></p><p>He even called his dad this weekend to say he told work he needs more hours and stressed that he did want to be a server. However it's the slow time there right now so there could be some delay. Tried to get an additional job at the beach and was told it's slow time; not hiring now.</p><p></p><p>I left a message for his therapist yesterday stating that we DID feel he is doing well and I attribute that to their program, contrary to her saying that he wasn't getting anything out of their program.</p><p></p><p>Today he had his session with her and she got me on the phone. She was being pretty negative I felt. Saying that he left an IOP last week. If they leave 3 IOP's they are asked to leave the facility. He left because there were only 3 people in there and he said he just didn't want to be there. First time he has done that (and hopefully last). It was not good judgement on his part. </p><p></p><p>She then said she appreciates our feeling he is doing well and acknowledges but she said he is not improving from a therapeutic standpoint. Again mentioned he may not be able to stay there - he can't just "live" there but he is sober, working and going to the three required IOPs per week.</p><p></p><p>I spoke to my son after the call and told him we really want him to stay there and finish the program and he wants to also but now she is being so negative. He wanted to start over with her today but she wanted me on the phone. She is taking away from the fact that he is doing well. He's not doing perfect but he is doing better than he ever has. Why isn't that good enough? I also told her that I felt someone sober 3 months may not have the right attitude already as someone on this site mentioned. I asked him to please ask her for ways he can move forward and improve himself and get a fresh start with her when he sees her next Tuesday.</p><p></p><p>If he does not meet standards to stay there as of next week, should I just tell him to look for another sober living? It seems everyone he works with lives at one. Maybe he has had enough intensive therapy and is ready to step down a bit and move to a step down house. He said he really likes the man that runs the IOP program there and would love to see him on an outpatient basis when he is no longer where he is. He seems to have a connection with him.</p><p></p><p>It's all up to him but he is looking for direction and I'm at a loss right now.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="RN0441, post: 688702, member: 15032"] As per my post last week, my son's therapist wasn't too happy with him. I was very angry with him after I talked to her and deferred further contact to his father for the time being. After much thought and conversation with his dad, we felt that son IS doing pretty well. Works 35 hours per week and has been for 6 weeks, has gotten one promotion (busboy to food runner) and now trying for server and has been sober 3 months. He said he was depressed at home. Is happy in Florida. Likes his job. Feels he's "doing good". It's a different world for him. Doesn't want to come home. All positive things. He even called his dad this weekend to say he told work he needs more hours and stressed that he did want to be a server. However it's the slow time there right now so there could be some delay. Tried to get an additional job at the beach and was told it's slow time; not hiring now. I left a message for his therapist yesterday stating that we DID feel he is doing well and I attribute that to their program, contrary to her saying that he wasn't getting anything out of their program. Today he had his session with her and she got me on the phone. She was being pretty negative I felt. Saying that he left an IOP last week. If they leave 3 IOP's they are asked to leave the facility. He left because there were only 3 people in there and he said he just didn't want to be there. First time he has done that (and hopefully last). It was not good judgement on his part. She then said she appreciates our feeling he is doing well and acknowledges but she said he is not improving from a therapeutic standpoint. Again mentioned he may not be able to stay there - he can't just "live" there but he is sober, working and going to the three required IOPs per week. I spoke to my son after the call and told him we really want him to stay there and finish the program and he wants to also but now she is being so negative. He wanted to start over with her today but she wanted me on the phone. She is taking away from the fact that he is doing well. He's not doing perfect but he is doing better than he ever has. Why isn't that good enough? I also told her that I felt someone sober 3 months may not have the right attitude already as someone on this site mentioned. I asked him to please ask her for ways he can move forward and improve himself and get a fresh start with her when he sees her next Tuesday. If he does not meet standards to stay there as of next week, should I just tell him to look for another sober living? It seems everyone he works with lives at one. Maybe he has had enough intensive therapy and is ready to step down a bit and move to a step down house. He said he really likes the man that runs the IOP program there and would love to see him on an outpatient basis when he is no longer where he is. He seems to have a connection with him. It's all up to him but he is looking for direction and I'm at a loss right now. [/QUOTE]
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