What to do, What to do??

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by Hound dog, Jan 2, 2009.

  1. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Ok. So this is what I get for being sick and surfing the net. I belong to classmates .com because I hope to connect with 2 good friends from hs.

    I get this email from them........Well, ok, I get tons of emails from them which I ignore because I'm too cheap to pay the 20 bucks to be a "gold member" lol.

    I don't even rememberwhat the origninal email was. I just started surfing the site to see the changes. This morphed into looking for a few people.......which morphed into doing a search for my 2 step brothers from my Mom's 3rd marriage....whom I didn't find which I thought was weird. So I did a search looking for their Dad, my ex step dad, and found him complete with a photo.:surprise:

    Wow. My Mom went YOUNG that time around. :rofl: He's a whopping 3 years older than my husband. (and Mom told everyone he was only 5 years her Jr. lmao)

    He looks the same, only he has white hair.

    Now here's the deal. I was a total difficult child on this poor guy. Right up there with any difficult child on the site. And while he wasn't a saint, he did try to do right by me and be a good "Dad". (I was 14) Worst thing I can say about him was that he was so jealous over Mom's 2nd husband whom I do call Dad and consider as such. (passed away when I was 22)

    So, I've always wished I could apologize to the poor guy. Between my Mom (a piece of work herself) and me, he was in over his head. And even though I was full blown difficult child with him, many of the things he did and taught me managed to stick. The biggest being that I was smart, smart enough to go to college. (he was the first to ever tell me that)

    He's is a gold member of the site. If I post on his bulletin board, he'll see it.

    So..........Do you think I should take advantage of the opportunity? Or let sleeping dogs lie?
  2. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Hi wow the funny stuff we do on the internet when sick and have sometime, huh,..?? your so funny i can almost see you sitting there jumping all over the site. :)

    I did the same thing about a year ago, difficult child was at dad's i was sick i too didn't wanna spend the money to become a gold member lol. yet i found my friend from norway from 5thgrade can you believe it?? we email to this day. she moved away in 6th grade she was my best friend. I hope to visit norway someday with difficult child to go see her.

    ok sorry wow i have a fever and sick did i mention that i'm totally rambling....lol

    id' totally send him a message or whatever you can do that doens't cost you the gold membership. see that's me though, you only go around once and if its something you still think about to this day than totally go for it. You never know he may fall upon your words with great appreciation and be thankful.
  3. everywoman

    everywoman Active Member

    While I understand that you may want to apologize, I would be leery to contact him. Sometimes it is best to let the past stay in the past. I contacted some step-sisters last year, and while the one communication was cordial, I did feel uncomfortable because their mother (my dad's third wife) was not the nicest woman to my sister and I. I did contact another step-sister (my dad's fourth wife). I see her occasionally---she is actually younger than my oldest son. Her mom actually lives in my small town, but I don't want to have any contact with her. Last time SS came over her mom sent her "love." It is uncomfortable because of the way this woman acted after my dad died. I don't ever want a relationship with her again. I'm not sure how that will affect my relationship with ss but she really seems to need my family in her life right now.
  4. Fran

    Fran Former desparate mom

    It's never too late to apologize.
    It's a good thing to do for him and it will give you a sense
    of letting it go.
    I think doing these good things gives us more positive energy
    in our lives.
    It's never wrong to do a good thing.

    in my humble opinion.
  5. Hound dog

    Hound dog Nana's are Beautiful

    Well....I did it. :)

    And yeah, I feel better. EW I understand what you're saying.......but this was one of two sane people my Mom ever connected with. Which is why neither of them stood a chance. lol He was a nice guy. And I loved his sons, my step brothers.

    If he wants to find me, he can search on the site. Otherwise it allows no personal info on the bulletin board. I doubt he will. But I hope it can put some balm over some of the deep wounds Mom left the poor man with. ---- Think 2 long years of psychotic episode. *shudder*

    I truely hope he and his sons found happiness.

    If my Mom finds out........I'll be disowned.....again. :rofl:
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    Good for you!! See, all better now. :) you did a good thing.
  7. donna723

    donna723 Well-Known Member

    Daisy, I agree with Fran. I think contacting him might be a good thing for you to do. If I were him, I would love to hear that he had been such a good influence on you. Only thing though, I didn't think you could post something to a bulletin board there unless you were a gold member, but I could be wrong. I've been a gold member off and on, but currently I'm not. If you're a member you can also write him a message and give him your email address and then they will send him an email saying that he has a message - then he can email you back or not, as he chooses. I would think he'd be thrilled to hear from you!

    I was a member for about two years ... it's been a l-o-n-g time since I was in school, but two really neat things happened. I went to the page of the school I attended in St. Louis when I was a kid - it was K thru 12th grade then. I saw the name of the girl who was my absolute best friend all through elementary school! We moved to Florida when I was 12 and I never saw her again, and I've wondered about her all these FIFTY years. I emailed her thinking nothing would come of it and, believe it or not, she emailed me back the very next day! We frantically burned up the internet there for quite a while, catching up and sending pictures back and forth of our kids! Unbelievable! We still keep in touch and email all the time - next time I'm up there, I will go see her! Imagine that!

    Then ... I got an email from a girl I went to high school with in Florida! She graduated the year before I did so I haven't seen her since 1963! I haven't heard from even one person I went to high school with but her sister still lives in the little town (then it was little!) near Orlando where we went to school so she keeps up with everybody and filled me in! She and her husband and two sons have lived in California for thirty years but they have just retired and bought a house in Tennessee, only about 40 miles from me! And they're moving this weekend! We've had some marathon phone calls and jabbered for hours, and we're planning to get together as soon as they get settled! Isn't that wonderful!

    PS ... Looks like you posted while I was busy typing. Good for you! I hope you hear back from him!