HollySunshine
New Member
Our difficult child left behind an elementary school full of teachers and professionals that thought she worked on water. She received straight As and was a well-loved member of the community.
She just transitioned to middle school in September and her educational experience has flipped 180*. Just in the last two weeks, we've received three separate calls from teachers and the dean of students about unrelated incidents and her grades are Fs across the board.
Today, she was caught coming onto campus late, having snuck to Taco Bell for a slushee. When confronted by the Dean of Students, she threw a massive screaming fit. She's currently sitting in In-School Suspension. Just last week, her gym teacher caught her sneaking out of class and she had a screaming meltdown when confronted.
Her father and I are at a loss for how we can curb this behavior. She gets to school 20 minutes before the bell, and we have no way to police her behavior between arriving and the start of class. She's technically not allowed to leave campus but no one has stopped her.
We have restricted her from screen time, isolated her to our apartment for weeks on end, removed all of her possessions when it became clear she'd destroy them. All of our attempts at positive parenting work short term only. While we can remain consistent and stern for the duration, once S has decided she's done falling in line life becomes unlivable. Daily screaming fits, abuse hurled and/or whispered at siblings so that we must divert attention from her to whoever she's torn down. Upping the ante by behaving blatantly worse in an attempt to scare us into backing down.
We've tried to be mindful of her relationship with her father. We've followed every instruction for creating a more positive relationship between them. She's not denied affection. He reacts calmly and lovingly even when punishing her. He tells her stories about his childhood and her early childhood. He engages her in her interests and does what he can to find activities to do with her.
I'm not sure what the hell we do from here. We have a potential life-changing opportunity in the works. We need S to not burn her academic life down for just this next month while we get specifics organized. But I don't know how we do that without ignoring all of her bad behavior, which effectively shuts us down as authority figures.
Specifics about our life for disciplinary suggestions:
*we live in a two bedroom apartment. She shares a room with her step-sister.
*besides school and home, she attends boys and girls club. She's not in any orgs or teams to incentivize.
*her only electronic device is the school -loaned chromebook
*We have *zero* money for orgs or opportunities currently, and no good means of consistent transport even if we did.
She just transitioned to middle school in September and her educational experience has flipped 180*. Just in the last two weeks, we've received three separate calls from teachers and the dean of students about unrelated incidents and her grades are Fs across the board.
Today, she was caught coming onto campus late, having snuck to Taco Bell for a slushee. When confronted by the Dean of Students, she threw a massive screaming fit. She's currently sitting in In-School Suspension. Just last week, her gym teacher caught her sneaking out of class and she had a screaming meltdown when confronted.
Her father and I are at a loss for how we can curb this behavior. She gets to school 20 minutes before the bell, and we have no way to police her behavior between arriving and the start of class. She's technically not allowed to leave campus but no one has stopped her.
We have restricted her from screen time, isolated her to our apartment for weeks on end, removed all of her possessions when it became clear she'd destroy them. All of our attempts at positive parenting work short term only. While we can remain consistent and stern for the duration, once S has decided she's done falling in line life becomes unlivable. Daily screaming fits, abuse hurled and/or whispered at siblings so that we must divert attention from her to whoever she's torn down. Upping the ante by behaving blatantly worse in an attempt to scare us into backing down.
We've tried to be mindful of her relationship with her father. We've followed every instruction for creating a more positive relationship between them. She's not denied affection. He reacts calmly and lovingly even when punishing her. He tells her stories about his childhood and her early childhood. He engages her in her interests and does what he can to find activities to do with her.
I'm not sure what the hell we do from here. We have a potential life-changing opportunity in the works. We need S to not burn her academic life down for just this next month while we get specifics organized. But I don't know how we do that without ignoring all of her bad behavior, which effectively shuts us down as authority figures.
Specifics about our life for disciplinary suggestions:
*we live in a two bedroom apartment. She shares a room with her step-sister.
*besides school and home, she attends boys and girls club. She's not in any orgs or teams to incentivize.
*her only electronic device is the school -loaned chromebook
*We have *zero* money for orgs or opportunities currently, and no good means of consistent transport even if we did.