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General Parenting
What to do when discipline doesn't work
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<blockquote data-quote="HollySunshine" data-source="post: 703343" data-attributes="member: 21075"><p>This is our biggest worry. S bows to no one. We used to be able to call in her mother as a positive, calming influence on her behavior. Once S realized that she couldn't play her mother and us against one another, she stopped seeking affection from her mother.</p><p></p><p>We can't not discipline her because the lack of understanding from the other children would cause absolute anarchy. The children require consistency of rules and consequences. For the other three, even with the oldest's issues, that works. But for S, nothing does. And when the other kids see that, it causes discord and anxiety among them.</p><p></p><p>We still haven't heard back from Family Reconciliation. We've left messages with a few other agencies. But the truth is, we've already pretty much decided the road based on the trajectory. She escalated from occasional screaming fits and constantly destroying her own property but being generally easy for other adult authority figures to being unmanageable for ANY adult figure, unwilling to follow any rules, going where she wants when she wants consequences be damned, stealing items and money indiscriminantly (cash, ipods, phones, shoplifting), and constant daily abuse of her siblings and us within a TWO MONTH SPAN. </p><p></p><p>We're exhausted. The other kids are getting worn down too. I don't see a future where S lives with us full-time, if at all, and it breaks my heart. She's got so much potential. But we can't keep throwing 110% of ourselves at her hoping for her to reach 10% of that potential, especially when our other three children need our attention too and would flourish given even a fraction of what we end up devoting to S.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="HollySunshine, post: 703343, member: 21075"] This is our biggest worry. S bows to no one. We used to be able to call in her mother as a positive, calming influence on her behavior. Once S realized that she couldn't play her mother and us against one another, she stopped seeking affection from her mother. We can't not discipline her because the lack of understanding from the other children would cause absolute anarchy. The children require consistency of rules and consequences. For the other three, even with the oldest's issues, that works. But for S, nothing does. And when the other kids see that, it causes discord and anxiety among them. We still haven't heard back from Family Reconciliation. We've left messages with a few other agencies. But the truth is, we've already pretty much decided the road based on the trajectory. She escalated from occasional screaming fits and constantly destroying her own property but being generally easy for other adult authority figures to being unmanageable for ANY adult figure, unwilling to follow any rules, going where she wants when she wants consequences be damned, stealing items and money indiscriminantly (cash, ipods, phones, shoplifting), and constant daily abuse of her siblings and us within a TWO MONTH SPAN. We're exhausted. The other kids are getting worn down too. I don't see a future where S lives with us full-time, if at all, and it breaks my heart. She's got so much potential. But we can't keep throwing 110% of ourselves at her hoping for her to reach 10% of that potential, especially when our other three children need our attention too and would flourish given even a fraction of what we end up devoting to S. [/QUOTE]
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