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What to do when discipline doesn't work
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<blockquote data-quote="Copabanana" data-source="post: 703354" data-attributes="member: 18958"><p>The school district has the obligation to manage her behavior in school or if they cannot teach her effectively because of some diagnosed learning disability, emotional problem, etc. to place her in the least restrictive environment, where she can learn. This includes either a non-public school placement, or up to a residential treatment center at the cost of the school district. </p><p></p><p>I think I mentioned to you on another thread that I think I would:</p><p>1. get her into good therapy, and consider yourself learning about somatic therapies for trauma in children.</p><p>2. try to wear her out with lots of opportunities for exercise, recreation--equestrian therapy for children and adults with disabilities, emotional or behavioral problems can be free.</p><p>3. encourage her with expressive arts, drawing, painting. Or even learning to crochet or knit.</p><p>4. consider one to one therapy, whether dance, talk, or art therapy with people who have work with children. There are sliding scale fees, often, that can be $15.00 a session or less.</p><p></p><p>To be effective at advocating for her through school you would have to have her privately evaluated (could be free or cheap, at university or children's regional hospitals, as I mentioned on another thread.</p><p></p><p>If your energies right now for the welfare of the family need to be focused on other things, as well as her, I would face that head on. Because it would not be good for her, if inside of you, or the other family members, you blamed or scapegoated her for missed opportunities. She would always know. And so would you. For a temporary stay, can she go to a family member, so that you can focus on restoring calm with the other kids, and focus on the important family opportunity?</p><p></p><p>It is not real life to drop everything to focus on the demands and needs of an out of control pre-adolescent. The truth is better acknowledged. </p><p></p><p>Something is happening with her that is fueling these behavioral changes (whether early abuse, kicking in, current stressors, drugs, bullying at school, mental illness, the effects of an unknown undiagnosed illness or disability or even, a desire to dominate and control the family, or a desire to create chaos. It could be anything.</p><p></p><p>There are decision to be faced, about your priorities and your responsibilities. Nothing can take away this truth. There is no way out that I can think of that reality can be wished away.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Copabanana, post: 703354, member: 18958"] The school district has the obligation to manage her behavior in school or if they cannot teach her effectively because of some diagnosed learning disability, emotional problem, etc. to place her in the least restrictive environment, where she can learn. This includes either a non-public school placement, or up to a residential treatment center at the cost of the school district. I think I mentioned to you on another thread that I think I would: 1. get her into good therapy, and consider yourself learning about somatic therapies for trauma in children. 2. try to wear her out with lots of opportunities for exercise, recreation--equestrian therapy for children and adults with disabilities, emotional or behavioral problems can be free. 3. encourage her with expressive arts, drawing, painting. Or even learning to crochet or knit. 4. consider one to one therapy, whether dance, talk, or art therapy with people who have work with children. There are sliding scale fees, often, that can be $15.00 a session or less. To be effective at advocating for her through school you would have to have her privately evaluated (could be free or cheap, at university or children's regional hospitals, as I mentioned on another thread. If your energies right now for the welfare of the family need to be focused on other things, as well as her, I would face that head on. Because it would not be good for her, if inside of you, or the other family members, you blamed or scapegoated her for missed opportunities. She would always know. And so would you. For a temporary stay, can she go to a family member, so that you can focus on restoring calm with the other kids, and focus on the important family opportunity? It is not real life to drop everything to focus on the demands and needs of an out of control pre-adolescent. The truth is better acknowledged. Something is happening with her that is fueling these behavioral changes (whether early abuse, kicking in, current stressors, drugs, bullying at school, mental illness, the effects of an unknown undiagnosed illness or disability or even, a desire to dominate and control the family, or a desire to create chaos. It could be anything. There are decision to be faced, about your priorities and your responsibilities. Nothing can take away this truth. There is no way out that I can think of that reality can be wished away. [/QUOTE]
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