What to do?

[Wiped Out]

Argh!! We just found out (yes, easy child/difficult child didn't know if she was graduating and so we didn't know the date) that easy child/difficult child's graduation night from high school is the same night as difficult child's 8th grade graduation celebration.

Obviously a high school graduation is super important. To difficult child so is the 8th graduation.

easy child/difficult child will be very hurt if we are both not at the graduation. difficult child will be very hurt if at least one of us isn't there. Sigh....

Any ideas?

 

[tiredmommy]

Is there a difference in starting times?

 

[Wiped Out]

easy child/difficult child's graduation is 6-9. difficult child's is 7-9.

 

[keista]

Aren't schools brilliant? I deal with this all the time with open houses, award ceremonies, etc. It'll be real fun when I have a kid in each of the three schools.

Are they at exactly the same time? How far away from each other? Can you bring in outside family and friends to help "spread" the love and support?

I just remembered the Brady Bunch episode where they scheduled a separate performance just for the Brady family. I know that's not an option, but one can dream.

 

[pepperidge]

what's the order of easy child's graduation? Are diplomas last? Make sure you are both there for that if that is the most important thing? When do they call kids out for 8th grade? How close together are the schools? Maybe you can both go to easy child's for the first hour so, one of you slip out to difficult child's? Not perfect but the kids will have to understand.

That stinks. Hope this isn't the same school district scheduling both on the same night!

 

[hearts and roses]

I vote that you sit them both down and explain that you have to split-such is life. It stinks but they are old enough to handle it. I hate when schools don't coordinate their schedules!

 

[tiredmommy]

You need more wisdom than I'd ever have to solve this one. {{{Hugs}}}

 

[Kjs]

Are the schools far apart? Most high schools have a longer graduation than the younger grades. If the schools are closer maybe one parent could go to both and end up at the high school. Any grandparents going? Could you speak to difficult child's school and ask if he can gradute out of ourder, in the beginning? Maybe he could have a presentation or something and then have his graduation and then you can make it over to the other. And talk to the other school about the other going later. Is any other parents in this situation? Maybe if there is, you could all meet wih the schools to see if the times could be offset or the days. that sounds like a tough one. Hope they make some accomidations for the famlies that have this problem. Good luck. Let us know what happens.

 

[ML]

I agree with H&R... talk to them about it and see if they have any ideas.

 

[Hound dog]

I'd have to do the sit them down and talk to them about it thing.

To me graduating high school is a life milestone. Graduating 8th grade........is going from 8th grade to 9th grade. And honestly? I think the whole kindergarden graduations, jr high ones are foolish. (ok so the preschool ones and kindergarden ones are at least cute lol ) Passing from one grade to another is just not the same thing.

I'd have to ask the kids, but I believe we skipped the whole 8th grade grad ceremonies. Three hours of crowd and junk because they were walking across the school to the high school side. geez.

Let the kids help you work it out.

 

[flutterby]

My two cents? easy child/difficult child has gotten the short end of the stick a lot due to difficult child. Not anyone's fault; it's what life for a easy child is like with a difficult child. I would go to hers. difficult child will have his in 4 years. If difficult child insists on attending his, I would have someone (not you or husband) go to it.

We didn't have elementary school, middle school, or junior high graduations. I wouldn't have gone if we did. I think they're silly.

But that's just me. Otherwise, I would sit them down and include them in the decision making.

 

[1905]

One parent at each. The parent at the 8th grade ceremony can rush over to the HS graduation when that one's over. Even if the parent and 8th grader miss the HS graduate get the diploma, they'll still be present.

 

[LittleDudesMom]

Sharon,

tough situation especially given the strained relationship they have with each other. Why in the heck would they haves an "8th grade graduation" at night? They are not graduating, they are moving on to high school! A simple awards ceremony at school is what they did at difficult child's middle school last year.

I agree that the high school graduation is more important and I like Up's solution the best. One with one, one with the other - then when difficult child's ceremony is over, it's a run to easy child/difficult children program. And two hours for an 8th grade grad is unbelievable! Maybe they are including an hour of cake and punch????!!!!! My easy child's high school graduation was only slightly over an hour!

Sharon

 

[KTMom91]

I agree that the HS graduation is the most important, and if your high school is even half the size of ours, you'll need to be in line for a seat several hours before they open the doors. If that's the case, running over after difficult child's ceremony will not be possible, due to parking etc.

Is difficult child's school actually having a graduation, or a ceremony to honor the eighth graders?

 

[AnnieO]

OK, I had an 8th grade graduation - I went to a private Catholic school. It was during the day on a Saturday as I remember (this was 25 years ago).

Onyxx did not have one. She was in the PHP at that time. I haven't heard of our district having them anyway.

difficult child will get a graduation in 4 years. easy child/difficult child - this is a LIFE MOMENT. Big, huge, thing.

Just my $0.02.

 

[Wiped Out]

Thank you everyone for your suggestions. I truly appreciate them!! I think we may have something that will work o.k. I just spoke with husband's (and my) niece and asked if she and her husband could take difficult child to his graduation. She thinks she doesn't have to work that night and that they can do it. Cross your fingers it works out. I really do hate to miss difficult child's but at least he loves his cousin and her husband so I think he will be o.k. with the idea.

We'll see how long easy child/difficult child's graduation actually lasts and if there is time we will try to make it to the end of difficult child's. easy child/difficult child is in a very small alternative school so it won't be huge. on the other hand, it's so small that apparently a teacher talks about the grads individually (different teachers for different kids).

I really do wish they wouldn't do 8th grade graduation at night-doesn't make any sense to me. easy child/difficult child's was during the day and nice.

 

[Mattsmom277]

Sounds like a great solution. difficult child may be disappointed you miss seeing him pass to high school but as others mentioned, high school grad is a milestone that kids strive to their entire young lives. Not to mention the parents moment of seeing them age out of traditional school. I would hate either you or husband missing that. I think if family difficult child is close to can attend, priority should be the high school grad. I do think its ridiculous that schools can't coordinate their grad ceremonies, at least in towns where it is a possibility due to not a massive number of schools. I hope both kids enjoy their special days. Here grade 8 grade most kids tease about, but it is a "done" thing. I forced Matt to his, he hated it. He allowed us to arrive just upon start time, and begged to leave right after the ceremony, not even saying goodbye to friends, let alone teachers lol. He was such a difficult child at that time, I look back at it and smile. For easy child, I can see her enjoying a "rite of passage" ceremony to move forward into high school. Funny how different areas handle different things. Here we get graduation dances, but not a prom in the sense it is done up in the US. I often feel badly that kids here don't have that big deal to look forward to.

 

[pepperidge]

Have some one record what the teacher says about difficult child so you can listen to it afterwards with him. That might help.