lovemysons
Well-Known Member
A little background.
My oldest son Josh was involved with Meth when he was younger as he struggled with drug and alcohol addiction just like our son that died did. He even went to prison for a year for stealing $10,000 worth of computer equipment from an employer of my husband’s.
After he got out of prison he went to work for my husband again. He was ALWAYS a hard worker unlike his brother who died homeless with no shoes on his feet.
He got involved with a woman 10 years older than him that was married at the time.
He still drank but quit using Meth. This woman divorced her husband for my son. Soon afterwards she became pregnant from my son.
Josh started changing. He and his wife started going to a very charismatic church. He stopped drinking.
Our relationship began to change sometime around then too.
My husband found a new job and Josh continued growing the company my husband had helped him start.
We didn’t see them very often because they lived much further away from us and near his wife’s parents and their church. Wife’s parents were very religious people who kinda seemed holier than thou to me.
I think Josh began to be ashamed of us. At least me with mental illness/Bipolar disorder and psychotic breakdown that involved religious overtones. It was very horrifying. Yes. I know what the devil looks like!
I think he is afraid of my mental illness and doesn’t understand it. The psychotic breakdown and Bipolar disorder diagnosis happened while he was in prison.
Years went by and I would only get a text from him on Mother’s Day or my birthday. We would go visit our granddaughters a couple of times a year…summertime and Christmas as it was always so hard to arrange anything with them since Josh works all the time.
Josh didn’t go to his brother’s funeral 2 1/2 years ago. He said in text…
Sorry mom.
“I’m
sorry for the loss of Jarod.
I’m sorry for his choices.
I’m sorry he hurt his children
And y’all.
I’m sorry he never took advantage of any of his chances to change his life.”
This hurt me terribly. I told him Yes! But he was your brother. You loved him!
Fast forward to today.
Josh is a millionaire. He is also a workaholic. All of his girls go to very expensive private Christian school. They live in a big fancy house. They get plastic surgery. They go to church and I think they think…they are the perfect family.
But here’s the catch. Josh was drinking at his last company party. His dad has warned him that he used to be a binge drinker. He said he can have a drink at dinner and he is fine.
I’m worried about his future. And not just his but his whole family and all the families that he supports through the jobs he’s given to their fathers who work for him.
I want to say something to him. I invited him out to lunch the other day. He texted back and said, “probably not I am working.”
I love him still. Even after the estrangement. Even after he wouldn’t even be by our side and go to his own brother’s funeral.
I was there for Josh when he went to prison. I visited him often, wrote him letters and put money on his books till I had the breakdown.
His dad, my husband, had nothing to do with him while he was in prison. Josh cost his dad his job.
Should I let him go on living with his own devices without my input? Should I just leave it alone and let him learn?
Or should I speak up and say something? Would it even matter or just make things worse?
Thanks for reading this lengthy post. For caring and for your thoughts in advance.
Love,
LMS
My oldest son Josh was involved with Meth when he was younger as he struggled with drug and alcohol addiction just like our son that died did. He even went to prison for a year for stealing $10,000 worth of computer equipment from an employer of my husband’s.
After he got out of prison he went to work for my husband again. He was ALWAYS a hard worker unlike his brother who died homeless with no shoes on his feet.
He got involved with a woman 10 years older than him that was married at the time.
He still drank but quit using Meth. This woman divorced her husband for my son. Soon afterwards she became pregnant from my son.
Josh started changing. He and his wife started going to a very charismatic church. He stopped drinking.
Our relationship began to change sometime around then too.
My husband found a new job and Josh continued growing the company my husband had helped him start.
We didn’t see them very often because they lived much further away from us and near his wife’s parents and their church. Wife’s parents were very religious people who kinda seemed holier than thou to me.
I think Josh began to be ashamed of us. At least me with mental illness/Bipolar disorder and psychotic breakdown that involved religious overtones. It was very horrifying. Yes. I know what the devil looks like!
I think he is afraid of my mental illness and doesn’t understand it. The psychotic breakdown and Bipolar disorder diagnosis happened while he was in prison.
Years went by and I would only get a text from him on Mother’s Day or my birthday. We would go visit our granddaughters a couple of times a year…summertime and Christmas as it was always so hard to arrange anything with them since Josh works all the time.
Josh didn’t go to his brother’s funeral 2 1/2 years ago. He said in text…
Sorry mom.
“I’m
sorry for the loss of Jarod.
I’m sorry for his choices.
I’m sorry he hurt his children
And y’all.
I’m sorry he never took advantage of any of his chances to change his life.”
This hurt me terribly. I told him Yes! But he was your brother. You loved him!
Fast forward to today.
Josh is a millionaire. He is also a workaholic. All of his girls go to very expensive private Christian school. They live in a big fancy house. They get plastic surgery. They go to church and I think they think…they are the perfect family.
But here’s the catch. Josh was drinking at his last company party. His dad has warned him that he used to be a binge drinker. He said he can have a drink at dinner and he is fine.
I’m worried about his future. And not just his but his whole family and all the families that he supports through the jobs he’s given to their fathers who work for him.
I want to say something to him. I invited him out to lunch the other day. He texted back and said, “probably not I am working.”
I love him still. Even after the estrangement. Even after he wouldn’t even be by our side and go to his own brother’s funeral.
I was there for Josh when he went to prison. I visited him often, wrote him letters and put money on his books till I had the breakdown.
His dad, my husband, had nothing to do with him while he was in prison. Josh cost his dad his job.
Should I let him go on living with his own devices without my input? Should I just leave it alone and let him learn?
Or should I speak up and say something? Would it even matter or just make things worse?
Thanks for reading this lengthy post. For caring and for your thoughts in advance.
Love,
LMS
