Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What to say to "I want to kill myself"
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 15033" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>difficult child 1 was older when he was suicidal - I basically pointed out that if he wanted to kill himself he had to wait his turn, I had dibs first. I live with constant pain, the medications don't totally hold it so I have to get by and I also have to accept that this is as good as I'm ever going to get. However, I can't kill myself while I have my family to look after - I have responsibilities, so I've had to wait. And if I have to wait, so does he.</p><p></p><p>What I didn't say, that percolated through his skull, was that if he kills himself that leaves me with one less responsibility and hence one step closer to my goal of suicide.</p><p></p><p>Before I told him this, he had been saying repeatedly, "I just want to die, I want to kill myself," but in circumstances that made us take him seriously. of course, I also told his specialist and he had his ADs upped.</p><p></p><p>I used to counsel people over the phone and occasionally had someone suicidal. I had no way of tracking them down, no way of ever knowing if they were OK unless they rang me back. No way to save them if they HAD just taken an overdose.</p><p>I remember one woman - I could tell she was really distressed. I finally said to her, "What do you really want?"</p><p>She said, "I want to die!"</p><p>I replied, "But you're talking to me - why? There is something else you want, too."</p><p>I suggested we play a game - if she had a magic wand that would give her three wishes, what would they be? Not too surprisingly, death was not on her list of three wishes. I pointed this out to her and said, "So you don't want to die after all - you want the pain to stop. How can we make this happen?"</p><p></p><p>Her three wishes were the key. We looked at them, then tried to see if there was a way we could head her towards getting her wishes fulfilled. By giving her a goal, which SHE had helped set, she had a purpose. With a purpose she had hope.</p><p></p><p>She rang me back a month later. She had moved a long way towards resolving a lot of her problems, by working on her wishes. What her problem had been - everything had been so overwhelming she simply couldn't see any way out. The wishes helped her make a start. From there it was all her own work.</p><p></p><p>I don't know if you can adapt any of this, but who knows? It could be worth a try.</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 15033, member: 1991"] difficult child 1 was older when he was suicidal - I basically pointed out that if he wanted to kill himself he had to wait his turn, I had dibs first. I live with constant pain, the medications don't totally hold it so I have to get by and I also have to accept that this is as good as I'm ever going to get. However, I can't kill myself while I have my family to look after - I have responsibilities, so I've had to wait. And if I have to wait, so does he. What I didn't say, that percolated through his skull, was that if he kills himself that leaves me with one less responsibility and hence one step closer to my goal of suicide. Before I told him this, he had been saying repeatedly, "I just want to die, I want to kill myself," but in circumstances that made us take him seriously. of course, I also told his specialist and he had his ADs upped. I used to counsel people over the phone and occasionally had someone suicidal. I had no way of tracking them down, no way of ever knowing if they were OK unless they rang me back. No way to save them if they HAD just taken an overdose. I remember one woman - I could tell she was really distressed. I finally said to her, "What do you really want?" She said, "I want to die!" I replied, "But you're talking to me - why? There is something else you want, too." I suggested we play a game - if she had a magic wand that would give her three wishes, what would they be? Not too surprisingly, death was not on her list of three wishes. I pointed this out to her and said, "So you don't want to die after all - you want the pain to stop. How can we make this happen?" Her three wishes were the key. We looked at them, then tried to see if there was a way we could head her towards getting her wishes fulfilled. By giving her a goal, which SHE had helped set, she had a purpose. With a purpose she had hope. She rang me back a month later. She had moved a long way towards resolving a lot of her problems, by working on her wishes. What her problem had been - everything had been so overwhelming she simply couldn't see any way out. The wishes helped her make a start. From there it was all her own work. I don't know if you can adapt any of this, but who knows? It could be worth a try. Marg [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
What to say to "I want to kill myself"
Top