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<blockquote data-quote="Mintchip" data-source="post: 706501" data-attributes="member: 21299"><p>I agree with Somewhere Out There. My 29 year old son came to stay with us for a couple of weeks while waiting to get into yet another In Patient program. He had been doing well for many months and I was fully supportive throughout. After 10 years of dealing with his addiction, I finally had some hope. The weeks turned into months and he withdrew his name from the program he was waiting for, deciding to go to a sober house instead. However, over the past several weeks he has begun using again. He knew the rules about staying here and now has to leave. It has been a struggle but I cannot tolerate/enable his bad choices. I have spoken to his counselor and his probation officer and am hoping they will mandate another inpatient program so he will have someplace to go. I planned to drop him off at a shelter yesterday but it turns out you need an intake appointment first. He has one for tomorrow. </p><p></p><p>My son says his relapse is part of the process, but from experience, this is just the beginning of a long downward spiral. He has done this over and over and it doesn't get better until he lands himself in jail again. I'm not willing to go through that again while he ends up stealing from us and continues to bring his suppliers to our home. We live in a small condo complex where everyone watches out for each other and I don't want problems here. </p><p></p><p>I say all that to let you know you are not alone and that your story sounds very similar to ours. I have also learned that the less you say, the better. As SOT said, stay calm, state your point, and don't get dragged into a debate. They will turn everything around, blame you, accuse you, attack you at your core. The toughest problem is they know you love them far more than they love you or themselves and will manipulate you anyway they can. You don't have to defend or explain yourselves. Stay strong and please let us know how it went.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Mintchip, post: 706501, member: 21299"] I agree with Somewhere Out There. My 29 year old son came to stay with us for a couple of weeks while waiting to get into yet another In Patient program. He had been doing well for many months and I was fully supportive throughout. After 10 years of dealing with his addiction, I finally had some hope. The weeks turned into months and he withdrew his name from the program he was waiting for, deciding to go to a sober house instead. However, over the past several weeks he has begun using again. He knew the rules about staying here and now has to leave. It has been a struggle but I cannot tolerate/enable his bad choices. I have spoken to his counselor and his probation officer and am hoping they will mandate another inpatient program so he will have someplace to go. I planned to drop him off at a shelter yesterday but it turns out you need an intake appointment first. He has one for tomorrow. My son says his relapse is part of the process, but from experience, this is just the beginning of a long downward spiral. He has done this over and over and it doesn't get better until he lands himself in jail again. I'm not willing to go through that again while he ends up stealing from us and continues to bring his suppliers to our home. We live in a small condo complex where everyone watches out for each other and I don't want problems here. I say all that to let you know you are not alone and that your story sounds very similar to ours. I have also learned that the less you say, the better. As SOT said, stay calm, state your point, and don't get dragged into a debate. They will turn everything around, blame you, accuse you, attack you at your core. The toughest problem is they know you love them far more than they love you or themselves and will manipulate you anyway they can. You don't have to defend or explain yourselves. Stay strong and please let us know how it went. [/QUOTE]
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