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<blockquote data-quote="Marguerite" data-source="post: 35929" data-attributes="member: 1991"><p>A funny thing happened yesterday, when difficult child 3 went to play at his (autistic) friend's house. Friend's mother said over the phone, "Friend wants difficult child 3 to play chess with him."</p><p>I told difficult child 3, who said, "Does Friend want to play chess, or is it his mother saying he does?"</p><p>This was very perceptive for difficult child 3, and I later shared it with Friend's mother, who chuckled. She told me of a recent incident, she had been trying to get Friend to do something he didn't want to do (it might have been playing chess, or going to the beach). Apparently difficult child 3 had said, in patient, quiet tones, "If Friend doesn't want to do it right now, it's HIS choice, you shouldn't force him."</p><p>It is exactly what I've been repeatedly telling difficult child 3 when he's nagging brother or sister to do something for him, when they really don't have to. One of those situations where you hear your own voice coming back at you, only in this case it was from another household, and he's told a parent!</p><p></p><p>Basically, since I've begun modelling patience and consideration for difficult child 3, he's begun to take this on as his own behaviour pattern. Which is a darn good thing - people are less likely to want to kick his head in, and this is Survival 101 for him!</p><p></p><p>Now if I can only stop him from teaching adults how to parent...</p><p></p><p>Marg</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Marguerite, post: 35929, member: 1991"] A funny thing happened yesterday, when difficult child 3 went to play at his (autistic) friend's house. Friend's mother said over the phone, "Friend wants difficult child 3 to play chess with him." I told difficult child 3, who said, "Does Friend want to play chess, or is it his mother saying he does?" This was very perceptive for difficult child 3, and I later shared it with Friend's mother, who chuckled. She told me of a recent incident, she had been trying to get Friend to do something he didn't want to do (it might have been playing chess, or going to the beach). Apparently difficult child 3 had said, in patient, quiet tones, "If Friend doesn't want to do it right now, it's HIS choice, you shouldn't force him." It is exactly what I've been repeatedly telling difficult child 3 when he's nagging brother or sister to do something for him, when they really don't have to. One of those situations where you hear your own voice coming back at you, only in this case it was from another household, and he's told a parent! Basically, since I've begun modelling patience and consideration for difficult child 3, he's begun to take this on as his own behaviour pattern. Which is a darn good thing - people are less likely to want to kick his head in, and this is Survival 101 for him! Now if I can only stop him from teaching adults how to parent... Marg [/QUOTE]
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