What would you do? Advice?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by Jamieh, Apr 6, 2013.

  1. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    E started the preschool that he is at last may for the summer program. He has struggled a lot there. I have been very adamant about trying to make it work. But lately his problems have gotten worse and me and my husband just want the summer to get here so he can be home for the summer before he goes to kindergarten. The other kids are starting to notice that he is different and he has very few friends. The one thing that is making us think we should pull him out early is that his sleeping has started getting interrupted. When he first started he rarely napped like the other kids and was in bed around 8:30pm. But now he has started napping every.single.day. For 2 FREAKIN HOURS. So he's wide awake until 12 or 1 a.m. His teacher tells me that he is grumpy and tired. And I told her that it's because he is napping and he can't sleep when he naps. I have requested that they take him out of the room and let him hang out in the library or in the office while the others nap but they want him to lie on his bed...and he falls asleep. He is exhausted. We are exhausted and just want the summer to get here. My husband and I are thinking of just pulling him out and letting have an extra long vacation before school starts in the fall. My mother in law offered to keep him 3 or 4 days a week so I can do my school work done. The good thing is that my classes end in a few weeks and I will have a few weeks before my summer session classes begin. But I feel like we have pulled out of preschool so many times. I am just so tired of dealing with the stress of it. I just want him home with me. I want to forget about the other kids and the teachers and what is socially acceptable. I just have him here and let him be a kid without worrying about the fact that he cannot relate to other kids. I just want to stop dealing with it all. I'm tired. What would you do if you were in my shoes. I thought about just picking him up before nap, but they wouldn't adjust the rate at all and to me it's not worth the $1000 it's going to cost us to keep him in...
  2. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Maybe he needs a special preschool for kids with special needs. Doesn't cost a thing and if he qualifies he'll get a lot of help! :)

    If he stays home with you now, he'll still face the same problems in kindergarten.
  3. buddy

    buddy New Member

    I think kttlc will be able to relate, they were glad they made that decision if i remember. I hope she sees this.
  4. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    Do what you feel is right for your child. I have been where you are right now. I know what a tough decision it is. Wouldn't be great to have a crystal ball so one could see all the possible outcomes of the different scenarios?
    For us, pulling V out of the daycare that was inflexible was the BEST thing.
    First I kept him home with me for a few weeks so he could recover. Than, I made him visit Sweet Pea's daycare and talked with them about wether they could work with me and V. I knew how flexible they were (director has a special need child herself with tremendous behavior and cognitive challenges).
    I promissed V that he would not be forced to stay if he chose not too. Slowly, he got used to it. Started with 15minutes, than 1 hour, than 2 hours all the way to six hours. When I would drop Sweet Pea off, I would ask V if he was ready to try. Some days he tried, some other days he said he was not ready.
    It was a very slow process and the daycare worked with us with no pressure. At that time, we also started him with his visual schedule on a daily basis.
    The daycare was not very knowedgeable with his special set of challenges, but they were loving, flexible and non judgemental. That was the magic formula.
    Slowly, V's self esteem got better (not because of the change of daycare, therapis also helped but therapies could not compensate for bad daycare).
    I also contacted the school before K started and set up a meeting to explain what V's challenges are and what needs to be done to help him. (I know you contacted your school already, very good!)
    At the time, we did not have an overall diagnosis, but you can't let that stop you. Medical diagnosis are not equal to automatic school services anyways.
    Follow your guts. Mom knows best.
  5. Ktllc

    Ktllc New Member

    I hear what MWM is saying, but I think it is kind of late to search for a school made for special needs (even more for public preschool as the process is so long...).
    If you "shop" for a preschool/daycare, your main goal is flexibility and listening to what parents want. If you say my child has to be excused from nap time, they have to listen and excuse him from nap time, no argument period. Also look into how they answer. Will they do it because they know you know best, or will they do it all the while rolling their eyes? The latter will be just as bad as being inflexible because kids sense it.
  6. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    We're a long way into the "school" year. And he's just starting to nap now?
    I'm guessing... accumulated fatigue, from trying to fit in at school, on so many fronts. Social, motor skills, auditory processing, sensory overload... there could be a whole laundry list of valid reasons for him to be worn out. The fact that he IS napping, when it wasn't his pattern, IS a red flag.

    Can't advise on whether to keep him in school or not. But you really need a comprehensive evaluation to tell you what is going on, so you can start reducing the overload. Or it WILL get worse, as each year goes by. (been there done that... took us way too long to get answers)
  7. SomewhereOutThere

    SomewhereOutThere Well-Known Member

    Amen, amen, amen, IC.
  8. Jamieh

    Jamieh New Member

    well it is too late in the year to get him evaluation. for the special needs for kindy. They will do it when he starts kindy. I am going to tell them I want him to get Occupational Therapist (OT) at school. I know he qualifies for it with- his ADHD/sensory processing disorder (SPD). His preschool gets out at the end of May and if they don't require me to pay the last 2 months then I am just going to pull him out. I'm just tired of dealing with the stress from him not sleeping at home. It's so frustrating. We can't see a specialist until july. he has been on the waiting list since november.