What would you do?

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by JLady, Apr 9, 2009.

  1. JLady

    JLady A ship lost in the night

    About 5 weeks ago we increased the dosage of Vyvanse to 30 mg. and Respidol to 1.5 mg per day because difficult child was not doing as well as he had been.

    2 weeks ago, we added more respidal because he was so angry and mean. I swear I think he is getting worse. He actually called me the B-word the other night. He has put a hole in his bedroom door, yells and screams, throws fits, and can't even seem to join the rest of the family for dinner.

    For the last 3 nights he has had a meltdown during dinner saying that he didn't want whatever food we are having. He has thrown his food across the floor and in the trash. He doesn't eat until everyone has left and he has exhausted himself. I've tried to help him but I don't know how.

    This morning, I gave him his old dosage of Vyvanse (20mg) and 1 mg of Respidol. He will get 1mg of respidol again tonight. The doctor isn't in today and we have an appointment tomorrow.

    I don't know if the medication is adding to the violent meltdowns or if something else is going on. I just don't remember him ever being so violent and unhappy.

    I've been doing a lot of reading and I know that some AS kids don't take medications at all. I just don't know what to think or do. I feel like the whole medication thing is a hit and miss affair. I want my son back! At least he was happy some of the time before the medication.

    Advise? PLEASE????? I know no one here is a doctor or anything. I want your advise as mothers of AS kids. I want to be armed with thoughts and ideas when we go to the psychiatrist tomorrow.
  2. Stella

    Stella New Member

    He actually called you the "B" word?? lol. My difficult child calls me that all the time *sigh*

    My difficult child is still undiagnosed but they have a "question mark" over aspergers among other things. (yes,yes, i'm on the case for a neurospsych!! :) difficult child has never had any medication though. She is ok some of the time too and lately her behaviour seems to be improving a bit. I don't know if its just because she is maturing or if it's because I have changed how I react to her (basically i respond now rather than react angrily) which I was doing...

    Anyway, sorry I can't be of any help but just want to send you Hugs and support. I know you are going through a really difficult, frustrating and exhausting time right now.

  3. compassion

    compassion Member

    I choose my battles, detatch, let her rage/meltdown, be as compssionate and loving as posible and get tons of support for ME. ((( ))) to you. This is EXHAUSTING for you!!!! Compassion
  4. lizanne2

    lizanne2 New Member

    First, I haven't been around for a while....shat is Vyvase/ Ia mnot familiar withthis drug.

    Alas, the Bword was quite common in my house for quite a while. Those extreme melt downs are exhausting. I too often chose my battles carefully when difficult child was young. It caused tension with my daughter but it created less drama.

    I chose 'must do' behaviors and the rest were only addressed if difficult child was receptive. I used my daughter's asthma as a metaphor. She was on the track team to help her with her asthma and she did what she could. If her asthma was triggered by something, well then she did less. Once we managed the asthma she was required to do what everyone else did. Now, she sometimes used the asthma excuse, more often than i probably know. I likened difficult child's rages as time when he was having an 'attack'. And I am sure he sometimes used his 'dxes' as excuses, more often than I probably know. But, over time, his self managing skills are improving and things are better.

    Hang in there.
  5. JLady

    JLady A ship lost in the night

    More than one of you has mentioned using the "B" word as a commonality. How in the world do you react to this? In my opinion, this is totally unacceptable behavior and I don't know where it came from.
  6. jal

    jal Member


    My difficult child is Pervasive Developmental Disorder (PDD)-Aspergers, mood dis not otherwise specified and supposedly ADHD (according to psychiatrist's that never listened to us re: ADHD). Although he presented as having ADHD too none of the stims worked for him - we trialed about 15 - they make him angry and beligerent and ODD. What we have found actually is what appeared to be ADHD was anxiety (thanks to the new psychiatrist) and we introduced prozac. After about 10 days we had a new child. One that was happy, mostly compliant and began to excel in school to the point where he could take a 100 problem math test timed (he is only 6 and would get a 100 on the test). A child whose writing went from all over the place to being in the lines and looking very good and to reading and liking it so much that he now tries to read everything. It may be possible that the stimulant is causing this for your difficult child. Mine would take a stimulant and on it destroy a classroom. Risperdal never worked for us either. It was the 2nd medication we ever tried. I would take a look at possible anxiety. Good luck to you. I know how frustrating this is.
  7. nvts

    nvts Active Member

    Hi! I hopped around in the net and found a neat little website:


    I didn't get to read much (the chuckleheads aka Heckle Jeckle and Clyde are all home for the next 11 days for spring break).

    The page I directed you to has a fairly comprehensive list of medications that have been used for Aspies.

    While in a rage, difficult child 1 has never called me a name, however he did say "F-you" to me. Once the rage was over and 9.4 million "I'm sorry's" came about, I asked him a simple question:

    "Do you LIKE your face on the front of your head? Because if you EVER say that to me again, I'll slap your face so hard you'll need 2 mirrors to help the fork find your mouth".

    Now I don't hit my kids, but I have allowed my sisters talk about what a tough guy I was when we were kids (I was "the Enforcer" lol!). That instilled the FOG (Fear of G*d) in mine pretty well! :cigarsmoker::rofl:

    Anyway, there's also a great website with a large selection of forums that may help also.


    There are adults with aspergers on there, kids that other kids chat with, information, etc. Most of the people on there are very open and really have an interest in helping you with parenting your children. You might have some luck with asking them questions as well. Not being a wise guy, but don't expect too much emotional support - a lot of their members are Aspies after all! ;)

    I don't go there that often, but I try to stop in here every day! This is the family that cares about me and mine more than most of my family does!

    Good luck!

  8. Stella

    Stella New Member

    Jlady - most if not all difficult children exhibit behaviours which would be totally unacceptable to others. When your difficult child throws his food across the room - how do you handle it?

    I never let it go and ignore it though, i have to say. I will most certainly let her know that I am horrified by her name calling. Will give her a warning and if she does it again, I confiscate her DS. Doesn't stop her though...
  9. JLady

    JLady A ship lost in the night

    Your replies and experiences are very helpful in helping me try to understand this horrible disability, condition (whatever you want to call it). I'm beginning to want to have a melt down of my own. I'm so frustrated! I want to fix it and I want to do it now!

    Unlike Aspies, I'm the opposite and extremely emotional. Can you imagine the mix?
  10. lizzie09

    lizzie09 lizzie

    With regard bad language or unacceptable language..I think most difficult children
    get so friustrated that language that they normally wouldnt use just comes flowing out. I have always found my GFGF to be much more contolled around bad language than my normal pcs LOL! However when hes in a mood or episode anything can come out
  11. helpangel

    helpangel Active Member

    Fowl language in the "heat of the moment" I kind of overlook it (I wouldn't punish a kid with flu for throwing up and in Angel's case I look at it as "verbal vomit")

    The couple times she has called me the B word when calm, I remark "since you know that then you know no reason to debate my authority and that I won't back down" - even negative reinforsement reinforses many behaviors I don't approve of and I need to focus on safety issues usually.

    Surprisingly my lack of reaction seems to help as where Angel use to sound like a little truck driver often now she very rarely swears.