I had posted about my adult son prior living over 1000 miles away. We visited him just 2 weeks ago and when we left he was to start IOP and go to AA meetings. While we were there he had us take him to numerous meetings throughout the days.... ( I know feel it was so he didn't have to be with us) So we agreed that we would send him a set amount to help him with the transportation costs to and from the meetings and IOP since he doesn't drive. He started IOP about 2 weeks ago. He knew he would be drug tested 3 times a week. Up until the day we left he was still smoking marijuana. When I told him that I was sick to my stomach over that knowing he would be taking the chance at getting kicked out of IOP due to that. He replied that his numbers would be off the charts anyway so it wouldn't matter..... He went to IOP the first week we were gone. I had to contact his therapist to let him know that my sons best friend from home was killed and he thanked me for the heads up. Also proceeded to tell me that he was giving my son one more week and that his numbers were not coming down. I told him that due to his weight and his usage his numbers were extremely high while he was on probation a few years ago and it took months for them to come down.. He said that they can tell if he is using. Anyway, I have not heard from my son since Tuesday. I had sent him 3 texts since then and no reply. I can tell my his phone records that he is still using his phone so he is alive. I don't know if he is going to IOP or not or if he was getting removed. I can see that others in his group are texting him but I don't see him replying. It is breaking my heart that he may have blew this. Plus the money we lost. I wouldn't mind spending the money if he actually took it seriously and got the help but if he ended up getting removed, I just want to tell him I am done helping. We had agreed months ago to help him move into his new apartment in a few weeks. He has yet to tell me what piece of furniture he would like for it, just ignores my texts. I don't want to go out to help him but I have the tickets already and we agreed. I know at this time I need to be tough and tell him we are DONE. He is now on his own. However, I stupidly co-signed his lease for the next few months. That is another thing. I want to tell him at the end of that lease, i will no longer co-sign any lease. The state he lives in requires him to make 3x's his rent in income so there is no way he can get a place on his own without a co-signer. He will need to have a roommate. He will extremely upset if I don't co-sign and again I fear that will make him relapse if he hasn't already. I know I should not speculate but when he doesn't answer my texts and when he pulls away that is usually a sign that he has relapsed. I want to call his IOP and ask if he is still a part of the program. I want to ask him if he is going to meetings. I did not send him any money towards his transportation today for the weekend or next week because I feel he can't answer a text why should I.