What would you recommend when son gets out of rehab and is going to Sober living. Do you feel he nee

[Guilty Mom]

Our son will be getting out of a 30 day rehab in our city. We have not talked with him. Do you have any suggestions if he should stay in our city or move away for sober living. He will have to work to pay for this. Waiting to hear

 

[Copabanana]

We need more information. But first welcome.

It is a good thing son is at this point.

If he pays should he not have the option to decide where?

If he is asking for your input that is another thing. The opportunities and support in your community and elsewhere, the nature of your relationship and what has gone before , his goals, costs in each community, supportive friends and where they live. For example. All might enter into his decision.

PS. Why do you feel guilty?

 

[RN0441]

Welcome

How old is your son? Is this his first time in rehab?

I definitely think it's best that he go to sober living after rehab. I can say this very easily without knowing any more of your story because of the experience we've had with our son.

You are not a rehab or a sober living facility. You are a loving parent and we, as parents, are not trained on how to handle addiction, triggers etc.

My son is in a long term program and doing well but we've been doing this for SEVEN years. We will be living in another state when he is released and will let him come with us for a short time or near us but that is if and only if all the I's are dotted and the T's are crossed and he is meeting/exceeding all of our expectations.

Good luck.

 

[Littleboylost]

GM

Welcome and I am happy for your son. I will be in the same boat soon and will be watching the responses on this thread with your.

 

[in a daze]

Definitely sober living.

Are you afraid it would be easier for him to come home if he lived closer to you?

 

[Albatross]

Not knowing your son, I would still say in most cases it is best if he goes to a sober living facility. Getting out of rehab is a fresh start, and I think a new location provides more of a fresh start. Moving home is like losing ground, in my opinion. Too many triggers, and way too much emotional toll on you. As a parent you can't help but take some emotional responsibility for his sobriety. Plus I believe they pick up on our anxiety about their recovery, and that doesn't help them in their recovery. Something as simple as a bad day becomes a much bigger issue than it needs to be. I also think that for his sake, he needs to do this on his own. If he is expected to earn his own way and you give him room and board, he really isn't functioning independently.

If he moves to a sober living facility, I guess my vote would be that he needs to go as far as he needs to get a fresh start. Being in your town means he will be exposed to the same triggers and circle of friends that he associates with using, and at 30 days he is very vulnerable to those influences.

My son has done rehab 3 times. The first two times he was in our city, and as soon as he got "travel" privileges he was at the door begging to move home. This time he is about an hour away. It's close enough to visit but far enough that he doesn't rely on us too much. Visiting with us is an "event," rather than a daily thing. And he's in new surroundings with new friends.

I don't know if that helps. Congratulations to your son on finishing his rehab; that's a real accomplishment!