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General Parenting
When a difficult child changes, is it just random?
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<blockquote data-quote="mattsmom27" data-source="post: 41727" data-attributes="member: 50"><p>I definitly do see a growing maturity in my difficult child. I believe this plays a part for sure in the changes in him. Other than that, luck seems to feel like a good contribution. </p><p></p><p>I am shocked lately with the level of mature thought processes difficult child is showing. Looking for tools on his own to deal with frustration, especially how to cope at school. Anytime in the past anyone attempted to help teach him coping tools he'd be so closed minded and tuned out, it didn't reach him. Now, he comes to me and asks what I think he can do in certain situations to decompress, calm down, handle specific situations. This is hugely apparent in his questions for tools for coping with stuff at school. Even last night he said mom, what can I do to succeed at school and be able to go to University. I don't want to blow it. I knew he normally wouldn't be happy about my answer. I told him the truth, very calmly and gently. I told him he has to be willing to put some daily effort into his work/studying and make it a habit for learning. That he was intelligent and although I'm proud of him at this stage and he should be proud of himself, he obviously wants to do more than he is doing. So the answer is to do the work with a bit more interest. We settled on dedicating 30 minutes a night to reviewing notes, asking to talk about things he can't understand in his classes etc. This would not have gone over well with difficult child before. Heck he wouldn't have cared, let alone asked. He just said okay mom, that makes sense. Is that how you got such good grades in college. I told him yes, because i took the time to learn what I knew I'd need to learn.</p><p>I think he is definitly maturing and it is obvious. I wonder what mixed blend of factors have brought him to where he is.</p><p></p><p>Melissa</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="mattsmom27, post: 41727, member: 50"] I definitly do see a growing maturity in my difficult child. I believe this plays a part for sure in the changes in him. Other than that, luck seems to feel like a good contribution. I am shocked lately with the level of mature thought processes difficult child is showing. Looking for tools on his own to deal with frustration, especially how to cope at school. Anytime in the past anyone attempted to help teach him coping tools he'd be so closed minded and tuned out, it didn't reach him. Now, he comes to me and asks what I think he can do in certain situations to decompress, calm down, handle specific situations. This is hugely apparent in his questions for tools for coping with stuff at school. Even last night he said mom, what can I do to succeed at school and be able to go to University. I don't want to blow it. I knew he normally wouldn't be happy about my answer. I told him the truth, very calmly and gently. I told him he has to be willing to put some daily effort into his work/studying and make it a habit for learning. That he was intelligent and although I'm proud of him at this stage and he should be proud of himself, he obviously wants to do more than he is doing. So the answer is to do the work with a bit more interest. We settled on dedicating 30 minutes a night to reviewing notes, asking to talk about things he can't understand in his classes etc. This would not have gone over well with difficult child before. Heck he wouldn't have cared, let alone asked. He just said okay mom, that makes sense. Is that how you got such good grades in college. I told him yes, because i took the time to learn what I knew I'd need to learn. I think he is definitly maturing and it is obvious. I wonder what mixed blend of factors have brought him to where he is. Melissa [/QUOTE]
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When a difficult child changes, is it just random?
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