When did you know?

DazedandConfused

Well-Known Member
About 9 months ago I knew that something just wasn't right with my twelve year old daughter. Late in the game, I know. However, she nearly died at birth and then was diagnosed with Leukemia at 13 months.

She was a bit moody and difficult as an infant, but nothing that alarmed me. And she also slept through the night. She would cry for hours if she wasn't happy. I also wore out a baby swing with her, and it had a life time money back guarantee! It was the only time I could have some peace and get things done as she would cry if I didn't constantly pick her up and carry her. You should have seen the look on the lady's face when I took it back to the store, all worn out, to get my money back. Well, it WAS guaranteed! Not my fault their swing hadn't encountered anyone like my kid!

On the other hand, she could also be so loving and sweet and a joy to be with (kinda like she can be now).

When the luekemia diagnoses came, all I cared about is whether, or not, she was going to live. She would scream if I left her side in the hospital. I remember actually taking her still attached to her IV pump so I could use the restroom! Should have seen the looks at that one! And her mammoth trantrums were chalked up to the massive amounts of chemo and having to be held down all the time (It took four adults to hold her still during her spinal taps when she was two).

When she was three, she still babbled. I did notice that other kids talked and were even toilet trained (I remember one lady looking down her nose at me when she noticed my daughter was still in a diaper and obnoxously declared HER child toilet trained at 19 months! To which I sarcastically replied "Well, then, SHE must be a genius!). Still, most of the child books told me not to concern myself, every kid develops at their own pace. As far as the talking, the Onocologist became concerned by the speech delay and wanted her evaluated.

Most of the testing done, however, was to determine whether or not she had a brain injury due to the chemotherapy. All of that was ruled out, but she did have plenty of speech therapy both through the children's hospital and the SD at the age of 4. Plus, I was able to get her into HeadStart as a special needs child (If your child is labled "special needs" income is not a factor to get your child qualified for the program). It was very hard at first, she would scream everytime I would leave. Finally, though, she bonded with the teacher and began to really enjoy her time there. She learned to sit with the class and along with me working with her at home, she seem to be catching up with her peers.

She could still be very difficult at home. But, nothing that I couldn't handle. I suppose I got used to how she was. Academically, she was doing well, and even exelled in a few areas. She did have problems making, or keeping friends in school, but was invited to some parties and activities through elementary school. She would have meltdowns when I would refuse something she wanted, but I thought with age, she would outgrow it. Boy, was I ever mistaken with that one! I have written about some of the things she has done.

It all seems to explode when she started middle school. Her grades spiraled down.I remember thinking, after one of her meltdowns that our family just couldn't go on this way. I sought therapy, but because the core problems were not diagnosed, it was of little use. The therapist was in over his head, and I just knew that she, me, and we, needed something much more. We stopped after a couple of months.

In August we had to go for her yearly blood work to make sure she is cancerfree. Well, because she had experimental therapy (No radiation) she still being followed in her progress. The Dr. asked about school and I responded that it is going terrible. So, more evaluations again to detemine if she has a brain injury (even though that was ruled out when she was 4). Lots of testing by a neuropyscologist whose opinion was that she had ADD. Then a evaluation by a Neurologist.

So Strattera has been started but, still many other behavior problems. She sees a psychiatrist in February. We have a drive a long way because no psychiatrists are not seeing new patients in our area! However, if it means to might be able to get things under control, I would swim across the Pacific!

With my son, I started to notice the same problems that my daughter had at his age, so he is also going to be evaluated by the psychiatrist. He also is very sensitive and has meltdowns. He always wants to win and will freak if he doesn't. the neighborhood kids get fed up with him at times. Also, he has gross and fine motor skills delays and is not toilet trained through the night.

He and his sister do not get along very well. So, that causes more strife in our house.

Anyway, I'm here and how I wish I had found this place sooner.
 

DDD

Well-Known Member
GFGmom was my third. She was such an easy little
baby that my then husband and I laughed and said we might reconsider having one more if we knew the baby would be easy like she was! :rolleyes:

I knew something was wrong as soon as she could
walk. She didn't walk. She ran...and ran...and ran. :eek: She had to be watched constantly
and she just didn't sleep. Honestly, she would
sleep maybe three or four hours a night and if we
fell assleep she would climb out of her crib and
get into anything and everything! Believe it or not she literally (yes, literally) climbed the venetian blinds on the window behind the sofa, the
blinds collapsed, she bounced off the sofa hit the
hard floor broke two teeth, cut her lips and kept
on running!! Yep, that was GFGmom!! :frown:

She was 8 years old before I finally found a Phd
from Australia who had moved to Miami and worked
with difficult children. He saved my sanity and
using creative methods in a little school he and
his wife started was able to teach GFGmom how to read (something she loves even now) and how to count. Without his presence for one year in our lives she never would have been allowed back into
public school. It's been 32 years ago and I still
am thankful for his presence. DDD
 

envisablepuppet

New Member
My difficult child was pure joy until she hit two weeks in to 2 yrs old. She found out she had a voice and her own opinion and boy did she use both.

Didn't realize she had other problems until I put her in public school. They said they had never seen anything like her. She was very disruptive but not in a mean or destrutive way. No organizational skills no matter what they did. This all started in about the 2nd grade.

They made sure she knew there was something wrong with her to the point of down right meaness. Thats why I removed her from that setting and why we got so protective of her.

I think the nonacceptance of a lot of the people around here are a part of the reason she has become the person she is today. I'm not trying to use this as an excuse, it's just the way it has always been.

She was never mean,rude,disobediant,or anything like that. They could never say that about her and it used to make them very edgy when they could'nt. She didn't start giving up on them until about her JR year of HS. All she ever wanted was to please and for everyone to love her like her mom and dad did.

I was never called to the school because she was in trouble so to speak. It was always because of not being on task and lateness to class ect.

I think my difficult child has basicly just given up on herself with the attitude of she can't win anyway so why bother :frown:

It breaks my heart.

Dohiyi,

Lea
 
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