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General Parenting
When Do You Let Go
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<blockquote data-quote="Triedntrue" data-source="post: 730281" data-attributes="member: 21499"><p>I continued struggling with my son through high school and enabled him until recently and he is 36. <strong>Don't do that</strong>. I agree with ss that no matter their disability they will eventually have to fend for themselves </p><p>unless they are in an institution and that is highly unlikely. While i tried for many years to get my son on medications i was unable to do so because by the time he was diagnosed at 17 he was too big for me to force him to do anything. He was misdiagnosed several times when younger and we made him take pills but because it wasn't the correct diagnosis they didn't work which made him resistant to taking medications when he was old enough to decide. I have paid rent, lent money ,bought cars ,phones helped him start a business, paid legal fees on and on. I think we blame ourselves for their not being born perfect. It is not our fault. I am now retired and need many things in my house and i can't afford to support us both so i have to detach to be fair to myself and my husband. I also can't let him live here because of his volatility i can not live in a house where i am uncomfortable all the time and afraid part of the time. I don't know how much longer i will be around so he needs to learn to fend for himself now. Your son is younger and you can save yourself a lot of grief by recognizing and working with professionals as well as support groups to help him meet that goal a lot quicker. I am sorry you have to go through this it is never easy. Also by the way I had 2 younger children who have pretty much detached from me because of him and me spending so much time with his issues.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Triedntrue, post: 730281, member: 21499"] I continued struggling with my son through high school and enabled him until recently and he is 36. [B]Don't do that[/B]. I agree with ss that no matter their disability they will eventually have to fend for themselves unless they are in an institution and that is highly unlikely. While i tried for many years to get my son on medications i was unable to do so because by the time he was diagnosed at 17 he was too big for me to force him to do anything. He was misdiagnosed several times when younger and we made him take pills but because it wasn't the correct diagnosis they didn't work which made him resistant to taking medications when he was old enough to decide. I have paid rent, lent money ,bought cars ,phones helped him start a business, paid legal fees on and on. I think we blame ourselves for their not being born perfect. It is not our fault. I am now retired and need many things in my house and i can't afford to support us both so i have to detach to be fair to myself and my husband. I also can't let him live here because of his volatility i can not live in a house where i am uncomfortable all the time and afraid part of the time. I don't know how much longer i will be around so he needs to learn to fend for himself now. Your son is younger and you can save yourself a lot of grief by recognizing and working with professionals as well as support groups to help him meet that goal a lot quicker. I am sorry you have to go through this it is never easy. Also by the way I had 2 younger children who have pretty much detached from me because of him and me spending so much time with his issues. [/QUOTE]
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