1 Day At a Time
Member
Once we discovered and read the "The Explosive Child" from the recommendations from this board we began to implement the Baskets. All I can say, I wish we had known about this technique many years ago. To some extent, we did use this process in an instinctive trial and error way earlier; and it has helped us all survive.
I'm now beginning to realize that some of our Basket B's are probably going to need to move to Basket C now that difficult child is in the midst of the teenage hormonal haze. We feel like we have been incredibly flexible already , though. These decisions are so hard for us right now. Like all of you, we just want to be good parents and do the best for our difficult child.
How do you all decide when one of your negotiable areas just needs to be left alone? difficult child has had braces and is going to need even more dental work. Needless to say, this is important and necessary for his future dental health. He has lost two retainers and most recently, a $700.00 grinding guard. (He has a terrible teeth grinding problem which causes many other dental problems). The problem is that he won't let us know when he's lost his appliances. After a while we notice they're gone (it's obvious when he doesn't take them out to eat) and we ask about it. His stock answer is "I've got it under control". We now realize this means "I've lost it, and I don't want you to know about it".
We had a huge blow out last night, with him locking himself in the bathroom at 1:00AM and yelling "You don't trust me, you never believe what I say" -all the while it is clear that he has not been disclosing the truth. All this, because we asked to see the grinding guard, which it is now lost. difficult child will be turning 17 this summer. We realize that our influence is definitely waning. We are now asking ourselves - do we continue to work with this dental issue - or do we move it to Basket C... I know everyone else may have not dealt with this exact issue, but how have you dealt with similiar issues? You know, the ones that will definitely strongly impact your difficult child in the future but that cause such intense turmoil in your home.
Thanks for your seasoned advice. We're really at a loss
I'm now beginning to realize that some of our Basket B's are probably going to need to move to Basket C now that difficult child is in the midst of the teenage hormonal haze. We feel like we have been incredibly flexible already , though. These decisions are so hard for us right now. Like all of you, we just want to be good parents and do the best for our difficult child.
How do you all decide when one of your negotiable areas just needs to be left alone? difficult child has had braces and is going to need even more dental work. Needless to say, this is important and necessary for his future dental health. He has lost two retainers and most recently, a $700.00 grinding guard. (He has a terrible teeth grinding problem which causes many other dental problems). The problem is that he won't let us know when he's lost his appliances. After a while we notice they're gone (it's obvious when he doesn't take them out to eat) and we ask about it. His stock answer is "I've got it under control". We now realize this means "I've lost it, and I don't want you to know about it".
We had a huge blow out last night, with him locking himself in the bathroom at 1:00AM and yelling "You don't trust me, you never believe what I say" -all the while it is clear that he has not been disclosing the truth. All this, because we asked to see the grinding guard, which it is now lost. difficult child will be turning 17 this summer. We realize that our influence is definitely waning. We are now asking ourselves - do we continue to work with this dental issue - or do we move it to Basket C... I know everyone else may have not dealt with this exact issue, but how have you dealt with similiar issues? You know, the ones that will definitely strongly impact your difficult child in the future but that cause such intense turmoil in your home.
Thanks for your seasoned advice. We're really at a loss