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Substance Abuse
When do you start random drug tests?
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 635077" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Wow. Welcome loving parent.</p><p></p><p>1. Marijuana is a gateway drug. By itself, it leads to lack of motivation at the very least. If it continues, and your son has the DNA of an addict, it can be just the start of what many on this board are dealing with. You can't determine if he is an addict or not, and it truly doesn't matter right now. And you can't force recovery. He is 16 so you can say what will and will not happen in your home and what the consequences will be of all of his behavior, inside and outside the home. I had no idea of my son's issues until after he was a legal adult. If I had known, I would have done much more---who knows if it would have changed the future or not?---than I did do. <u><strong>One thing I would INSIST on---my son too has depression and anxiety---is treatment for that---medication AND therapy. No excuses. If you want to eat and sleep and do ANYTHING in this house/your life, you will be treated by professionals for this. Non-negotiable.</strong></u> I regret that, but I didn't know. I believe my son self-medicated for his own issues for way too long. </p><p></p><p>2. I would drug test him. I would tell him that at any time I suspect that you are high I reserve the right to drug test you. He is going to do whatever he is going to do anyway. You have to decide what you, as a parent, need to do. I disagree with your partner. Buy drug tests and tell him the deal. Realize that drug tests don't test for everything. </p><p></p><p>3. Right now, he is 16 years old. It's all about him. It's all about what he wants to do. One day, by the grace of God, they will look back and thank us. Don't even expect or get upset about any of that right now. Let that go. Teenagers are self-absorbed and in our culture today, they are worse than ever for a much longer time. A lot of that is our fault.</p><p></p><p>All of this is just my humble opinion, but I am speaking from my heart here. I wish I had the chance again to do some of these things. The outcome might be the same, but I would have been more focused on the real problems and not just waiting for things to get better, him to grow up, etc. for way too long.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry you are having to deal with this. You are at the right place. We will support you no matter what you decide to do.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 635077, member: 17542"] Wow. Welcome loving parent. 1. Marijuana is a gateway drug. By itself, it leads to lack of motivation at the very least. If it continues, and your son has the DNA of an addict, it can be just the start of what many on this board are dealing with. You can't determine if he is an addict or not, and it truly doesn't matter right now. And you can't force recovery. He is 16 so you can say what will and will not happen in your home and what the consequences will be of all of his behavior, inside and outside the home. I had no idea of my son's issues until after he was a legal adult. If I had known, I would have done much more---who knows if it would have changed the future or not?---than I did do. [U][B]One thing I would INSIST on---my son too has depression and anxiety---is treatment for that---medication AND therapy. No excuses. If you want to eat and sleep and do ANYTHING in this house/your life, you will be treated by professionals for this. Non-negotiable.[/B][/U] I regret that, but I didn't know. I believe my son self-medicated for his own issues for way too long. 2. I would drug test him. I would tell him that at any time I suspect that you are high I reserve the right to drug test you. He is going to do whatever he is going to do anyway. You have to decide what you, as a parent, need to do. I disagree with your partner. Buy drug tests and tell him the deal. Realize that drug tests don't test for everything. 3. Right now, he is 16 years old. It's all about him. It's all about what he wants to do. One day, by the grace of God, they will look back and thank us. Don't even expect or get upset about any of that right now. Let that go. Teenagers are self-absorbed and in our culture today, they are worse than ever for a much longer time. A lot of that is our fault. All of this is just my humble opinion, but I am speaking from my heart here. I wish I had the chance again to do some of these things. The outcome might be the same, but I would have been more focused on the real problems and not just waiting for things to get better, him to grow up, etc. for way too long. I am sorry you are having to deal with this. You are at the right place. We will support you no matter what you decide to do. [/QUOTE]
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