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Substance Abuse
When do you start random drug tests?
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<blockquote data-quote="bluebell" data-source="post: 635080" data-attributes="member: 16761"><p>I whole-heartedly agree with com. My difficult child is not much older than yours, newly 18, but he's been on the 'dark side' since age 12. It did start with marijuana, and marijuana is always around, other drugs do come and go, alcohol is a big one lately. Seems like forever.</p><p></p><p>We did drug-test, therapy (no medications when he was younger - wasn't diagnosed or prescribed until January of last year when he became violent - but he is noncompliant now), no doors, no phone, p-hospital, lived in country with relatives, homeschool, etc etc. He has been in the juvenile system since he was 13. I don't know what I would do different, probably nothing different. All kids are different, I believe you have to try everything - at least until they are 18 and you are worn out from trying. I do think my son could not handle all the control we were trying to force on his life and that contributed to his violent behavior - but most kids will try to modulate and conform their behavior to 'stay under the radar'. I know my daughter does! </p><p></p><p>I am hoping that your son does not belong here, that this is just a phase and with a little pressure (I say yes on the drug tests), guidance and direction, he will make the right decisions for his life. </p><p></p><p>For number 3, my son's mantra is that we don't love him. That gives him all the psychic energy he needs to justify destroying his life. I really don't count on this way of thinking changing for him. Like COM says, it's all about him right now and it is that way even for 'normal' kids. Even my easy child is out for herself, she just happens to understand that if momma's happy, things go a lot smoother for her as well. If you are on this path you have to grow a thick skin, of course easier said than done and there are others much further along this than me. I'm just now making the transition from seeing him as a child and in the first stages of detachment. </p><p></p><p>Good luck and remember to take time for yourself thru this, I did not and it is my BIGGEST regret as my health is taking a turn for the worse, and I can't help but wonder.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="bluebell, post: 635080, member: 16761"] I whole-heartedly agree with com. My difficult child is not much older than yours, newly 18, but he's been on the 'dark side' since age 12. It did start with marijuana, and marijuana is always around, other drugs do come and go, alcohol is a big one lately. Seems like forever. We did drug-test, therapy (no medications when he was younger - wasn't diagnosed or prescribed until January of last year when he became violent - but he is noncompliant now), no doors, no phone, p-hospital, lived in country with relatives, homeschool, etc etc. He has been in the juvenile system since he was 13. I don't know what I would do different, probably nothing different. All kids are different, I believe you have to try everything - at least until they are 18 and you are worn out from trying. I do think my son could not handle all the control we were trying to force on his life and that contributed to his violent behavior - but most kids will try to modulate and conform their behavior to 'stay under the radar'. I know my daughter does! I am hoping that your son does not belong here, that this is just a phase and with a little pressure (I say yes on the drug tests), guidance and direction, he will make the right decisions for his life. For number 3, my son's mantra is that we don't love him. That gives him all the psychic energy he needs to justify destroying his life. I really don't count on this way of thinking changing for him. Like COM says, it's all about him right now and it is that way even for 'normal' kids. Even my easy child is out for herself, she just happens to understand that if momma's happy, things go a lot smoother for her as well. If you are on this path you have to grow a thick skin, of course easier said than done and there are others much further along this than me. I'm just now making the transition from seeing him as a child and in the first stages of detachment. Good luck and remember to take time for yourself thru this, I did not and it is my BIGGEST regret as my health is taking a turn for the worse, and I can't help but wonder. [/QUOTE]
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