...when even the Vistaril won't calm bipolar child down...

Discussion in 'General Parenting' started by ChiefDramatist, Jan 31, 2016.

  1. I'm sitting in an empty Sunday school room at church, tears streaming down my face. My daughter had a meltdown when I dropped her off at Sunday school. She was having a hard morning before we came to church, and I made a preemptive decision to give her a Vistoril. Per her doctor, we have been waiting too long to give it to her when she is manic.

    She was belligerent when I tried to leave, wouldn't let me go. I should probably have just stayed with her, but too late now.

    Husband is more about pushing the limit of what she can handle, while I try to create an atmosphere that will give her the best chance for success. Both of us are too extreme in our actions.

    I know it is going to be a bad day. She just got out of pediatric inpatient at hospital a week ago Friday after a two week stay. Her psychiatrist added lamictal to her drugs (just ramped up to 75 mg on Wednesday).

    She went to a sleepover on Friday night -- her best, best, beeeeest friend's birthday sleepover. Apparently they stayed up until THREE AM. SO AWFUL. Bad food, too much stimuli, not enough sleep -- perfect storm to create this situation today.

    Her birthday is in 9 days -- turning 12. She thinks she is getting a cell phone, but hubby is dead set against it. I think it would finally be a good idea. Every single child in her class, and most of the children in the classes below her, have a phone. She feels so left out. It is a MAJOR trigger for her. If you pray, PLEASE pray that he will relent. It would make our lives, and HERS so much easier. He has turned it into an issue of principle.

    Sorry for the ramble. Just needed to vent.

    I'm so, so tired.
  2. Wiped Out

    Wiped Out Well-Known Member Staff Member

    The little sleep definitely is a perfect storm for a bipolar child. There wasn't much that would calm my son down when he was manic (which was almost all of the time when he was younger). For us it took 6 hospitalizations before they finally found a great medication combo for him and then he was able to benefit from the therapy.

    The cell phone could definitely be a good idea. What is your husband worried about? Is he worried about her having unlimited access to the internet (which could be a problem)? Could you agree on a cell phone that isn't a smart phone (my son has one).
  3. InsaneCdn

    InsaneCdn Well-Known Member

    Yes, it is a problem to be the "only one" who doesn't have a cell phone.
    And it's just as big of a problem to give a cell phone to a bi-polar kid.

    What a dilemma. No matter which way it goes, all of you lose. There are no good options, really.

    If she does get a phone - you absolutely must make sure it does NOT have mobile data access, AND does not have Wi-Fi access. Otherwise, you just set her up as a target.
  4. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Vistaril is an old fashioned antihistamine. Like all of that class of antihistamines (Benadryl is another), Vistaril can cause a paradoxical reaction in which anxiety and sometimes aggression occur.

    This reaction is more common in children and teens.

    I was prescribed Hydroxazine (Vistaril generic) for itching after an allergic reaction to an antibiotic. Though i was warned that the medication was very sedating, it instead made me very irritable and had me climbing the walls.

    I had to quit taking it and resort to hosing myself down with Caladryl lotion for the itch.

    I'd lose the Vistaril and consider going to a psychoactive medication of some sort for the raging.

    As for the phone and safety, ANY charged cellphone, even if not on any service, MUST, by LAW dial 911. I'd advise that if you get her a cellphone, you get her a Cricket or Kajeet phone which will allow you to specify which numbers she can call, have no internet access, and in general save you a lot of heartache (and money)
  5. compassion

    compassion Member

    Also, get insurance plan. My daughter would lose,damage phones very regularly.
  6. GoingNorth

    GoingNorth Crazy Cat Lady

    Get your insurance through Square Trade. They're considerably less expensive than the policies provided by the carriers, and you can get policies with lower deductibles and better benefits.
  7. ForeverSpring

    ForeverSpring Well-Known Member

    There is nothing worse than being different to a kid and your daughter is already different. Not sure why everyone thinks a cheap cell with limited data would be so bad.
    My typical kids broke their phones too. So did I! A few times! Get insurance.
    There is no way to definitely diagnose any psychiatric disorder and it is harder with kids. Each psychiatrist is giving it his best guess. If it were me id get her a limited data phone not on a contract.
    Anyway you know your kid best.
    Good luck, whatever you decide.
  8. susiestar

    susiestar Roll With It

    If I were giving a phone to a 12yo, I would likely go with a Net10 phone where you can cancel it/suspend it with-o fees Unlimited talk, text data {all are measured in minutes, so a text is half a minute, etc....} is $35 per month. You can order them online {better selection} and have thee cost handled automatically. The price they show is the price you pay, and our service is better than my parents w AT&T. Plus it is a TON cheaper.

    Maybe your husband would be more open to the idea if it was used as a carrot to reward good behavior? She can use it for x minutes a week if she does this ONE thing she is having problems with. Of course use would be limited t people you know and other reasonable guidelines. In that case, I would probably not make it a birthday gift because it is tied to her behavior. I always try to make gifts be something I don't have to limit, but that is my philosophy.

    Have you thought through what would be easier if your daughter had a phone? Try making a list before you talk with your husband, and include any negatives also. It is a tough decision though, so be sure you discuss the phone, plan, rules, consequences, etc...

    Those are just my phone thoughts.

    Sleepovers are sooo not something that generally helps a Difficult Child stay in control of herself. I used to dread the first day or 2 after them! Even my easy child would be a total brat! I have found that all of my kids were at least better after sleepovers if we had a high protein snack when I picked them up and if I didn't pan to do a whole lot after the sleepover or the first day back to school. If I had to go to the grocery or to run errands, each kid got a high protein snack to eat before or as we shopped. Protein bars can be a good option, and are certainly more purse/backpack friendly, but you MUST read the labels. The bars that help us the most are roughly 30% protein, 30% fat & 40% carb. Zone & Balance brands generally follow this, but other brands don't always, esp the ones for kids. Many of the brands out there are mostly sugar of 1 kind or 2 others. Even between flavors the difference can be staggering. But for my family it is worth the time and expense to have a stash on hand. It truly makes THAT MUCH of a difference Now that my 2 older kids are adults and thank you is in his late teens, they pay attention to the protein. They like how they feel & behave when they are not overly hungry or sugared up.

    Finding the right diagnoses & medications is difficult and complicated and just plain hard for the whole family. I do wonder about the use of zoloft if she is bipolar, esp with mania. Zoloft is well known to trigger this in children and in bipolar patients. The treatment guidelines only call for adding antidepressants after the patient is stabilized. A mood stabilizer or 2, and often an antipsychotic are the first things to figure out, then any remaining symptoms can be addressed. Often the mood stabilizer (or 2) and antipsychotic control the mood swings so that the other symptoms go away without use of an antidepressant. This guideline was established by the board of child & adolescent psychiatrists and if you can work through it to find the right medications, it is very effective. I can name at least a dozen, likely many more, people with bipolar who could not stabilize their moods until they went off the antidepressants totally and then started re-tuning their medications at the beginning with only the 1 or 2 mood stabilizers and antipsychotic. medication combos that didn't work when the patient was taking an antidepressant, did work once the antidepressant was out of them. This wasn't always the case, but it did happen for some. This medication protocol was in "The Bipolar Child" by Papalous if you want more into. I used t have the complete citation info, but lost it in a computer crash. The book is the easiest place to find the info from what I remember.

    I cannot diagnose or treat or prescribe for your daughter, but I hope some bit of info here will help in some way.
  9. Summer love

    Summer love New Member

    I have 2 children (age 13 and 19 now) who were diagnosis with bipolar when they were 7 and 10. We went thru hell - medications and horrible reactions, behaviors, rages... I won't go into it because you know.... At rock bottom one day I found a clinic called Mensah Medical and it has changed our lives! Mensah works with all brain disorders including bipolar; autism; ADHD; Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD); post partum among others. They know what the markers are and do blood And urine testing. Once results are in - the two doctors create an INDIVIDUALIZED nutrient program using amino acids, vitamins and minerals designed for each patient's unique biochemistry. My then 7 year
    Old had horrible reactions to many medications including anti histamines. He was thrown out of schools; it was beyond horrible. He also developed tardive dyskesia from exposure to ability, an anti psychotic medication.
    From the age
    Of 7 we worked closely with Dr Bowman of Mensah Medical and after
    Testing he began an individualized nutrient plan.
    Fast forward to age 13 - He is doing beautifully; no medications; no therapy; a normal child who takes his compounded nutrients; no rates, no depression anymore; no mania... He undermythelates; had high copper and low zinc. Mensah knows what
    To test for and has a very high success rate of treatment.
    It's worth the cost ( very fair) and you can bill insurance. Mensah Medical is without a doubt the BIGGEST blessing of my life!!!!
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  10. pigless in VA

    pigless in VA Well-Known Member

    Summer love, I think you should start your own thread/discussion and tell people about this program.
  11. We would love to do a special nutrition program for our bipolar Difficult Child, but he's a teenager and goes out and buys junk food every day. :frown:

    Zoloft caused manic episodes lasting 30-60 minutes a couple of times a week, so he had to quit. We use a combination of lithium and clonzipine. Risperdone and Lithium together worked well, too.

    Finding the right combination of medications makes a huge difference.