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General Parenting
When he wants to hug me...
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 41491" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>I had awful rages as a kid with bipolar. I can tell you I needed those hugs more than ever after I'd acted terribly and upset the family. I was terrified at my behavior and thought I was crazy and desperately needed to know that I was still loved. The hugs never came. My mom died two years ago. She still blamed me for my childhood behavior (and somewhat for my instability in early adulthood). We never mended our relationship; she wanted to believe I was bad and did it "to her." She did not take into account how hard the sick person suffers and wants to do better. Don't let this happen to you and your child. Seek professional help so you can give him those hugs, and really mean them, even after he has behaved badly. And please try not to take him personally--he is probably saying "I hate me" when he says "I hate you." I know that's what I meant. Nobody was angrier at me than myself, but I couldn't stop myself, and it ruined my ability to be loved by my mother. To this day, the entire family knows it.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 41491, member: 1550"] I had awful rages as a kid with bipolar. I can tell you I needed those hugs more than ever after I'd acted terribly and upset the family. I was terrified at my behavior and thought I was crazy and desperately needed to know that I was still loved. The hugs never came. My mom died two years ago. She still blamed me for my childhood behavior (and somewhat for my instability in early adulthood). We never mended our relationship; she wanted to believe I was bad and did it "to her." She did not take into account how hard the sick person suffers and wants to do better. Don't let this happen to you and your child. Seek professional help so you can give him those hugs, and really mean them, even after he has behaved badly. And please try not to take him personally--he is probably saying "I hate me" when he says "I hate you." I know that's what I meant. Nobody was angrier at me than myself, but I couldn't stop myself, and it ruined my ability to be loved by my mother. To this day, the entire family knows it. [/QUOTE]
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