Forums
New posts
Search forums
What's new
New posts
New profile posts
Latest activity
Internet Search
Members
Current visitors
New profile posts
Search profile posts
Log in
Register
What's new
Search
Search
Search titles only
By:
New posts
Search forums
Menu
Log in
Register
Install the app
Install
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
When he wants to hug me...
JavaScript is disabled. For a better experience, please enable JavaScript in your browser before proceeding.
You are using an out of date browser. It may not display this or other websites correctly.
You should upgrade or use an
alternative browser
.
Reply to thread
Message
<blockquote data-quote="flutterbee" data-source="post: 41565"><p>Generally speaking, I put aside my anger/frustration and give the hug because I know difficult child needs it. I know she had little control over her rage/meltdown and she needs the reassurance that she is still loved. However, there have been times when her words were particularly cruel that I've told her that I love her, but that I was still upset and needed more time to calm down before I could be affectionate. Until that happened, I really don't think she realized how affected I was by her behavior.</p><p></p><p>Alan - Unconditional love does not hinge on physical affection at the whim of the child. There is nothing my children could do to change my love for them and they know that. As parents, we have a responsibility to ourselves also. I do not agree at all that it is teaching kids that we're going to act just like them. I think it is teaching them that others do have feelings and needs of their own. To not teach THAT lesson is a disservice to the child. I think kids, our kids especially, ask what's in it for me too much as it is. Everything is not about them and if they want to successfully function in society that is a lesson that needs to be learned. </p><p></p><p>Terry - I may be way out of line here, but from your most recent posts you seem to have hit your limit. Between difficult child and conflict with husband. It happens to the best of us. I think it's very important that you, as well as all of us, find something of your own that has nothing to do with difficult child or husband. Hugs to you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="flutterbee, post: 41565"] Generally speaking, I put aside my anger/frustration and give the hug because I know difficult child needs it. I know she had little control over her rage/meltdown and she needs the reassurance that she is still loved. However, there have been times when her words were particularly cruel that I've told her that I love her, but that I was still upset and needed more time to calm down before I could be affectionate. Until that happened, I really don't think she realized how affected I was by her behavior. Alan - Unconditional love does not hinge on physical affection at the whim of the child. There is nothing my children could do to change my love for them and they know that. As parents, we have a responsibility to ourselves also. I do not agree at all that it is teaching kids that we're going to act just like them. I think it is teaching them that others do have feelings and needs of their own. To not teach THAT lesson is a disservice to the child. I think kids, our kids especially, ask what's in it for me too much as it is. Everything is not about them and if they want to successfully function in society that is a lesson that needs to be learned. Terry - I may be way out of line here, but from your most recent posts you seem to have hit your limit. Between difficult child and conflict with husband. It happens to the best of us. I think it's very important that you, as well as all of us, find something of your own that has nothing to do with difficult child or husband. Hugs to you. [/QUOTE]
Insert quotes…
Verification
Post reply
Forums
Parent Support Forums
General Parenting
When he wants to hug me...
Top