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When is enough enough?
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 648644" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Recovering Enabler has given you good advice, Wiynter. </p><p></p><p>We love our children, and want the best for them, always. It is more hurtful to us than to them, when things go badly for them. When we parent a self-destructing child, there comes a point when we see so clearly that what we are doing for them isn't working and may not be helping. Out of solutions and with no end in sight, we begin to weigh the costs to ourselves, and to our other children.</p><p></p><p>We conclude, as you are beginning to do now, that we cannot balance our responsibilities to ourselves and our loved ones while coping with the unending and often, unreasonable, demands of our self-destructing child.</p><p></p><p>I am sorry this is happening ~ to you, and to your family.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>I think that time comes when we understand so clearly that all we are doing to help is not helping the child. That is the point at which we begin searching for other valid solutions. </p><p></p><p>Where might your child be placed? Are there options for you such as foster care?</p><p></p><p>Is there a Crisis Hotline where you are? They can often be the source of valuable information for us.</p><p></p><p>Have you been able to check into respite care / Hospice care for your mother?</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 648644, member: 17461"] Recovering Enabler has given you good advice, Wiynter. We love our children, and want the best for them, always. It is more hurtful to us than to them, when things go badly for them. When we parent a self-destructing child, there comes a point when we see so clearly that what we are doing for them isn't working and may not be helping. Out of solutions and with no end in sight, we begin to weigh the costs to ourselves, and to our other children. We conclude, as you are beginning to do now, that we cannot balance our responsibilities to ourselves and our loved ones while coping with the unending and often, unreasonable, demands of our self-destructing child. I am sorry this is happening ~ to you, and to your family. I think that time comes when we understand so clearly that all we are doing to help is not helping the child. That is the point at which we begin searching for other valid solutions. Where might your child be placed? Are there options for you such as foster care? Is there a Crisis Hotline where you are? They can often be the source of valuable information for us. Have you been able to check into respite care / Hospice care for your mother? Cedar [/QUOTE]
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