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Substance Abuse
When is it ok to walk away?
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<blockquote data-quote="CARP_ENOUGH" data-source="post: 724626" data-attributes="member: 22468"><p>Lost...my heart feels for you and I have a 22 yr old son who over the last 4 years has put me through a rollercoaster, mentally, emotionally and financially. Just when I felt he was coming around, I would have another surprise whether it was an arrest for a dumb mistake involving drug or alcohol, the last one was petty theft that is very harsh here in the US, but luckily he made it out of all of these issues, but the roller coaster has continued. He has moved about 20 times and has had 100 jobs, no less lasting than a couple months and he thinks he can make big $$ without studying or going back to University or learning a trade. These age groups from 17-27 today are delusional because of social media and the internet. They don't know how to EARN respect and have a work ethic and we as parents are suffering for their lack of responsiblity. You need to let him suffer his own consequences which is what I finally decided this year and it has helped tremendously. I LOVE him with every ounce of my soul, and I cry at night because we worry about them being without jobs, homeless and even worse in jail. This is not our problem anymore..your SON has to become a man ASAP. Don't let him or anyone steal your joy....with the holidays it will be hard, make him promise you that there will be no drama OR he can spend Xmas somewhere else. I had to do this for Thanksgiving just recently and guess what?? My son figured it out. He found some friends he had taken advantage of years back and never appreciated them and he apologized to them and spent the holiday with them and NO drama with them? HMMMMMM...our sons are manipulators ! They know our weak spots as mothers and they press the button all the time if we let them. I stopped letting him use the button. I only take his calls when I feel I want to....no more guilt or obligation to let him suck me dry of my own life. It's NOT fair anymore. Stop this now...from the stories you read on this site...it doesn't get any better if we do not stop the manipulation early. Best to you and I am praying for God to give you strength to detach as we are all learning to do here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="CARP_ENOUGH, post: 724626, member: 22468"] Lost...my heart feels for you and I have a 22 yr old son who over the last 4 years has put me through a rollercoaster, mentally, emotionally and financially. Just when I felt he was coming around, I would have another surprise whether it was an arrest for a dumb mistake involving drug or alcohol, the last one was petty theft that is very harsh here in the US, but luckily he made it out of all of these issues, but the roller coaster has continued. He has moved about 20 times and has had 100 jobs, no less lasting than a couple months and he thinks he can make big $$ without studying or going back to University or learning a trade. These age groups from 17-27 today are delusional because of social media and the internet. They don't know how to EARN respect and have a work ethic and we as parents are suffering for their lack of responsiblity. You need to let him suffer his own consequences which is what I finally decided this year and it has helped tremendously. I LOVE him with every ounce of my soul, and I cry at night because we worry about them being without jobs, homeless and even worse in jail. This is not our problem anymore..your SON has to become a man ASAP. Don't let him or anyone steal your joy....with the holidays it will be hard, make him promise you that there will be no drama OR he can spend Xmas somewhere else. I had to do this for Thanksgiving just recently and guess what?? My son figured it out. He found some friends he had taken advantage of years back and never appreciated them and he apologized to them and spent the holiday with them and NO drama with them? HMMMMMM...our sons are manipulators ! They know our weak spots as mothers and they press the button all the time if we let them. I stopped letting him use the button. I only take his calls when I feel I want to....no more guilt or obligation to let him suck me dry of my own life. It's NOT fair anymore. Stop this now...from the stories you read on this site...it doesn't get any better if we do not stop the manipulation early. Best to you and I am praying for God to give you strength to detach as we are all learning to do here. [/QUOTE]
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