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Substance Abuse
When it's your spouse...
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<blockquote data-quote="Childofmine" data-source="post: 653487" data-attributes="member: 17542"><p>Greenrene, my ex-husband was a very high functioning alcoholic. Nobody understood at first when we separated. I had taken it as long a I could. </p><p></p><p>It was subtle and insidious from the outside looking in, but from my perspective I was lonely, he was irritable and unreasonable all the time about just about everything, and I completely lost respect and finally love for him. </p><p></p><p>I struggled against separation and divorce for years, but I also struggled in my own sick way as an enabler, and then as a person who tried to make him stop any way I could, from yelling and screaming to cold anger to crying to trying to reason with him. All the things we did and do with our difficult children I tried with him...and of course none of it worked.</p><p></p><p>It was crazy-making and we were both nuts.</p><p></p><p>I went to Al-Anon for about 18 months and "got it" somewhat, but not completely. I wasn't ready. </p><p></p><p>That is my best recommendation to you. Go to Al-Anon and keep on going no matter what. It can literally not only save your life but give you the best life you could ever want.</p><p></p><p>You can't stop him from drinking, and his in-laws can't either, unless he is ready and wants to do the hard work of change.</p><p></p><p>HE has to want it, not just everybody else.</p><p></p><p>It's tough stuff, losing a long-time marriage. It takes a toll on every part of your life.</p><p></p><p>Hang in there and keep posting. We are here for you.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Childofmine, post: 653487, member: 17542"] Greenrene, my ex-husband was a very high functioning alcoholic. Nobody understood at first when we separated. I had taken it as long a I could. It was subtle and insidious from the outside looking in, but from my perspective I was lonely, he was irritable and unreasonable all the time about just about everything, and I completely lost respect and finally love for him. I struggled against separation and divorce for years, but I also struggled in my own sick way as an enabler, and then as a person who tried to make him stop any way I could, from yelling and screaming to cold anger to crying to trying to reason with him. All the things we did and do with our difficult children I tried with him...and of course none of it worked. It was crazy-making and we were both nuts. I went to Al-Anon for about 18 months and "got it" somewhat, but not completely. I wasn't ready. That is my best recommendation to you. Go to Al-Anon and keep on going no matter what. It can literally not only save your life but give you the best life you could ever want. You can't stop him from drinking, and his in-laws can't either, unless he is ready and wants to do the hard work of change. HE has to want it, not just everybody else. It's tough stuff, losing a long-time marriage. It takes a toll on every part of your life. Hang in there and keep posting. We are here for you. [/QUOTE]
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