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General Parenting
When My Mother Stopped Enabling Me....
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<blockquote data-quote="JRC" data-source="post: 729056" data-attributes="member: 21147"><p>My son is too young to be truly enabled in the sense that you are both talking about. But, I can see my husband already setting him and us up for this kind of existence. I refuse to do it. I'm constantly pushing my boys (I have three. The problem child is the youngest at age 12) to get their acts together. I.e do your own laundry. Get yourself up in the morning on time. Make your own breakfast. Don't like the dinner I cooked? Make yourself a sandwich. Trying to weasel out of a commitment? Not happening. My husband is the opposite. He'll cook them pancakes on a Tuesday morning. Don't like dinner? He'll craft three separate ones. Drives our problem child to school instead of taking the van. Why? He thinks it's too hard for him. I put a stop to that. I ask him over and over--who's anxiety are you helping here? Certainly not our son. You're helping relieve your own by helicoptering around him. It's not okay and I see our future and our problem child will be in it--in our basement--unless my husband backs off. </p><p></p><p>Thanks for the reminder--both of you--that my instincts on this are right. Sometimes I feel guilty. And that I'm a hard ass. But I don't think that's the case when I read some of these situations here.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="JRC, post: 729056, member: 21147"] My son is too young to be truly enabled in the sense that you are both talking about. But, I can see my husband already setting him and us up for this kind of existence. I refuse to do it. I'm constantly pushing my boys (I have three. The problem child is the youngest at age 12) to get their acts together. I.e do your own laundry. Get yourself up in the morning on time. Make your own breakfast. Don't like the dinner I cooked? Make yourself a sandwich. Trying to weasel out of a commitment? Not happening. My husband is the opposite. He'll cook them pancakes on a Tuesday morning. Don't like dinner? He'll craft three separate ones. Drives our problem child to school instead of taking the van. Why? He thinks it's too hard for him. I put a stop to that. I ask him over and over--who's anxiety are you helping here? Certainly not our son. You're helping relieve your own by helicoptering around him. It's not okay and I see our future and our problem child will be in it--in our basement--unless my husband backs off. Thanks for the reminder--both of you--that my instincts on this are right. Sometimes I feel guilty. And that I'm a hard ass. But I don't think that's the case when I read some of these situations here. [/QUOTE]
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When My Mother Stopped Enabling Me....
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