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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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<blockquote data-quote="BusynMember" data-source="post: 655386" data-attributes="member: 1550"><p>Wow. That is great! Did you write it?</p><p></p><p>This group therapy I went to was supposed to be about all sorts of abuse and I didn't think I'd fit in because there is physical and sexual abuse too. But all the women talked about was the emotional stuff that made them think they were nothing, which is what happened to me. Nobody cried. Nobody wanted pity. What we wanted and needed and received was understanding. It is validating and affirming to realize that you are not alone and that you are not the only one who has lived a different life from your siblings. Once I heard it from others, I knew. That is exactly what happened in my house. So I wasn't so crazy after all <img src="data:image/gif;base64,R0lGODlhAQABAIAAAAAAAP///yH5BAEAAAAALAAAAAABAAEAAAIBRAA7" class="smilie smilie--sprite smilie--sprite2" alt=";)" title="Wink ;)" loading="lazy" data-shortname=";)" /></p><p></p><p>It can happen in big splits too, if the family is large. One woman has six siblings. She and the older three were treated like trash in every way. The younger three were not abused. They can not talk about their mother or they start to fight. In their family they made a decision to not discuss the topic. I wish I could have done this, but since it was just me and two others who did get the horrible verbal crapola "you're bad" "you're bad" "you're bad"...I wanted my siblings to believe me and they don't and now I know that they won't. And that I'm not the only one who has this.</p><p></p><p>Two women in the group won't even call their mother a mother. One refers to her by her first name. The other just says that she refers to her as "Her" and "She." </p><p></p><p>It just made me feel not so alone. Even here I don't think most people had our experiences, Cedar. </p><p></p><p>One thing we all had in common is that we were the one who dared to fight back. Not physically. We just called a spade a spade. And these control freak mothers (and fathers too) need to be in control. And in my case, my mother was angry that HER mother would take care of me, no matter what.</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="BusynMember, post: 655386, member: 1550"] Wow. That is great! Did you write it? This group therapy I went to was supposed to be about all sorts of abuse and I didn't think I'd fit in because there is physical and sexual abuse too. But all the women talked about was the emotional stuff that made them think they were nothing, which is what happened to me. Nobody cried. Nobody wanted pity. What we wanted and needed and received was understanding. It is validating and affirming to realize that you are not alone and that you are not the only one who has lived a different life from your siblings. Once I heard it from others, I knew. That is exactly what happened in my house. So I wasn't so crazy after all ;) It can happen in big splits too, if the family is large. One woman has six siblings. She and the older three were treated like trash in every way. The younger three were not abused. They can not talk about their mother or they start to fight. In their family they made a decision to not discuss the topic. I wish I could have done this, but since it was just me and two others who did get the horrible verbal crapola "you're bad" "you're bad" "you're bad"...I wanted my siblings to believe me and they don't and now I know that they won't. And that I'm not the only one who has this. Two women in the group won't even call their mother a mother. One refers to her by her first name. The other just says that she refers to her as "Her" and "She." It just made me feel not so alone. Even here I don't think most people had our experiences, Cedar. One thing we all had in common is that we were the one who dared to fight back. Not physically. We just called a spade a spade. And these control freak mothers (and fathers too) need to be in control. And in my case, my mother was angry that HER mother would take care of me, no matter what. [/QUOTE]
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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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