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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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<blockquote data-quote="Scent of Cedar *" data-source="post: 656342" data-attributes="member: 17461"><p>Sexually.</p><p></p><p>Manipulating them sexually, somehow.</p><p></p><p>But you know, when that happened? I was surprised that I could do that without intending to. If that is what happened, I mean.</p><p></p><p>To him. </p><p></p><p>If that is what happened, to him.</p><p></p><p>That is what that other therapist I saw later said, too. That counter-transference happens in an impersonal way, and that it has nothing to do with the person in therapy.</p><p></p><p>But I still think I must have been doing something wrong, there. Like a rape victim believes she somehow deserved it too, I suppose. (There was no sexual stuff going on in therapy. Not that I knew about, anyway. Ha! There I go again. Internal locus of control, Cedar. That is where I am heading with these questions.)</p><p></p><p>Thank you for listening.</p><p></p><p>I can do this.</p><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>That's perfect, SWOT. When we can find the original trauma, the original shaming event, then we can see it through our adult eyes. And we can see the wrongness in what happened, and the innocence of the child that we were.</p><p> </p><p>We have had to be so strong. </p><p></p><p>I am sorry you were treated that way.</p><p></p><p>I wish I had been there too, to witness for you.</p><p></p><p>But we are doing well, here, witnessing for one another. And maybe, for those who are healing too, through our posts.</p><p></p><p>I hope this is happening, for others. It is good to reclaim our legitimacy, and to honor ourselves and all we have been through.</p><p></p><p>Copa, I will go to the Enabling thread when I have completed this one.</p><p></p><p>Thank you for reading along too, Copa.</p><p></p><p>Cedar</p></blockquote><p></p>
[QUOTE="Scent of Cedar *, post: 656342, member: 17461"] Sexually. Manipulating them sexually, somehow. But you know, when that happened? I was surprised that I could do that without intending to. If that is what happened, I mean. To him. If that is what happened, to him. That is what that other therapist I saw later said, too. That counter-transference happens in an impersonal way, and that it has nothing to do with the person in therapy. But I still think I must have been doing something wrong, there. Like a rape victim believes she somehow deserved it too, I suppose. (There was no sexual stuff going on in therapy. Not that I knew about, anyway. Ha! There I go again. Internal locus of control, Cedar. That is where I am heading with these questions.) Thank you for listening. I can do this. That's perfect, SWOT. When we can find the original trauma, the original shaming event, then we can see it through our adult eyes. And we can see the wrongness in what happened, and the innocence of the child that we were. We have had to be so strong. I am sorry you were treated that way. I wish I had been there too, to witness for you. But we are doing well, here, witnessing for one another. And maybe, for those who are healing too, through our posts. I hope this is happening, for others. It is good to reclaim our legitimacy, and to honor ourselves and all we have been through. Copa, I will go to the Enabling thread when I have completed this one. Thank you for reading along too, Copa. Cedar [/QUOTE]
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When people are ostracized from family, it is because the family did not like their choices.
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