I've read several places that Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD), Reactive Attachment Disorder, "can grow up to become" Borderline (BPD), Borderline Personality Disorder. I was in a waiting room recently and saw a book titled I Hate You- Don't Leave Me! The title's sentiment drew me in. I didn't know it when I picked up the book but it is a book about Borderline (BPD), Borderline Personality Disorder. The book's title is the same sentiment that has been RADiating from our estranged Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) adoptees. I opened the book midway and had time to read just a bit. I read enough in the book to recognize and relate to how our difficult child-s have been "relating" to us throughout their estrangement. The part I opened up to that is VERY MUCH applicable to my difficult child-s was the chapter that explained people with Borderline (BPD) often create "lose-lose" or "no-win" scenarios with the people they love most. Most recently, with the impending death of my father, our estranged Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) daughter urged me NOT to inform our estranged Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) son (who was in basic training at the time) of their grandfather's impending death. (Hospital staff had said it was "time to notify family" the end of my father's life was near.) Lose/lose. If I chose to inform our son, I'd be the evil one who unduly stressed him out during stressful basic training. LOSE! If I chose to keep it quiet, I'd be the evil one who kept his grandfather's impending death secret, to "prevent" his opportunity to say goodbye. LOSE! Whatever it's called, Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD) or Borderline (BPD)... it sucks all the way around. I hope one day our adopted children will be strong and healthy enough to realize how much their parents love them... strong and healthy enough to obtain & remain in reciprocally loving life-long relationships.