when S2BX's lie to difficult child's

Discussion in 'The Watercooler' started by amazeofgrace, Oct 29, 2008.

  1. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    :mad:so a letter finally came for difficult child II (not one for difficult child I) from his Dad (who is in jail), whom he has not heard from since July.

    In the letter he lies and says he still in rehab in sunny boca raton Florida (ok, I can see why he's lying about being in jail) but then he goes on to say "my cell phone # is ###-###--####, you can call me any time, as a matter of fact you could've called me over the past few months, but I guess your Mother did not think it was a good idea"
    Last edited: Oct 30, 2008
  2. KTMom91

    KTMom91 Well-Known Member

    I have long ago stopped wondering why Useless Boy did anything he did, or didn't do, which is more like him. It has to be YOUR fault, because if it was HIS, that would mean he would have to take some responsibility for something, and that won't happen. So, take a deep breath, smile sweetly, and, if your difficult children ask, tell them in a calm and polite voice, "I'm sorry that I don't have an answer for you, but I really have no idea why your father (fill in the blank). Maybe you should ask him about it." Then go on your merry way, singing a happy song.

    Many hugs. It's easier said than done, and it takes a while to get there, but it can be done.
  3. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Amaze, he's trying to continue to be abusive and controlling from a distance. I really like KTmom's advice. Don't take it on, don't let it rile you. Most importantly, don't let difficult child II see that it's riled you, even if you have steam coming out of your ears.

    "I don't know why your father would say such a thing. You should ask him."

    That forces s2bx to own the behaviour, the lies and any repercussions from them.
  4. amazeofgrace

    amazeofgrace New Member

    thank you, it just amazes me he can still be like this, after everything, he's not learning it doesn't work, that's for sure
  5. trinityroyal

    trinityroyal Well-Known Member

    Some of them never learn.

    My ex-H and I have been split for years and years, and in our limited dealings he still tries similar nonsense on me. It stuns me that he still thinks he has that kind of power over me. I guess I've learned, grown and moved on and he hasn't.

    Take it as an indicator of how much progress you've made, and the positive path you're heading down. If S2BX chooses to stay in a bad place, he has no one to blame for it but himself.

    Sending hugs,
  6. Jena

    Jena New Member

    I don't know the whole situation, I'm sorry I didn't follow your posts on this one. Yet I can imagine that any father telling any kid an untruth than blaming it on the parent is total bs especially in a situation like yours.

    I just wanted to jump in and offer my support to you.